netpositive: (firehand)
... circumstances indicate that the path
to your destination twists and turns in a
bewildering way. Your insight, however,
can penetrate and make sense of confusion.

-definition, juxtaposition from
    Go to the bathroom first.
    Then drink deep from your mystical cup.
    Pry your ghost loose from its shell,
    and find a right space for your words.

    Point out the middle path, and
    reconcile the polarities. Bring
    creativity and flexibility to
    the way you go about your way
    in the world. Move slowly and
    deliberately if change is required.

    Don't be too proud to ask for someone's
    help. Sometimes you do get it.

    What kinds of negative messages,
    self-doubt or paranoid fantasies
    descend upon you from time to time?
    Don't let them undermine your ability
    to be who you are and to contribute.
    Examine them and give them each a name,
    and identify them as separate from you
    (imagining them as little demons can help).
    This will increase your dominion over them.

    Turn the page. Write the next line.
    Take my foot off the brake already!

    A path is traversed one step at a time.
    A navigator can help you find the way.
    Is it a lantern, or only an hourglass?

    Simon says: take a baby step, baby.
Why must we dream in metaphors?
Try to hold on to something we couldn't understand.

netpositive: (firehand)
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life...

    Know what you can stand.
    Work on what you have trouble standing.
    Avoid what you can't stand.
    If you can.

    Write it out. Write it down.

If u don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around u
At least u got friends--

    Some things to be grateful for today:
  • Sunshine
  • Blue sky
  • Hard boiled eggs
  • Radishes
  • Tea
  • Vitamins and minerals
  • Sleeping kitties
  • Petting sleeping kitties
  • Helping someone out virtually
  • Clouds
  • Rain
  • A bright yellow rain slicker
  • Backpack with everything in it
  • A body that (mostly) works
  • Quiet local coffee shop (w/electricity, w/out Internet)
  • Iced chai
  • Some work to do
  • An iPod with bright orange skin
  • Some work getting done
  • Sleeping kitties waking up
  • Waking kitties being petted
  • Things to look forward to

Are we gonna let de-elevator
Bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!

    Thank you, Chris Benoit.

    No, not so much for the past few days,
    though I have learned much about you,
    myself, and others during them. ::(
    But thank you for those many years that
    you *were* a good person to other people.

    What happened this past weekend should not
    take those good times away from anyone else.
    It just will make us all the sadder that they,
    and you, are gone for good, and so horribly.

    I don't know what happened to you, Wild Pegasus.
    Maybe no one ever really will know "the truth".
    But I can guess, I can imagine, and I even suspect
    I would understand at least some of it. Not condone;
    but there but for the grace of something, could go I.

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's cuz
We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do)
What's it all 4 (What's it all 4)
U better live now
Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!
netpositive: (iconnerific)
The coincidence of a vague physical resemblance
followed by an accidental but absolute audio replica
brings up a vibrant ghost from the past...
    I close my eyes,
    and I just hear your voice.

    the power of sound,
    after all this time apart.

    I could never explain to others
    how so many of your questions got answers,
    how the simplest of words complicated everything.

    the vowels in your last name,
    I know nothing has changed except the calendar.

    Pain may drain away.
    But anger - and hunger - stay.

    I paid.
    Still, I do regret
    not always doing right by you.

    I close my eyes,
    and I just hear your voice.

    Every night,
    I close my eyes.
netpositive: (Default)
Just because it's not on a computer
doesn't mean it's not important.

    The daffodils in the yard are drooping,
    waiting for some sun to renew their glow.

    I received a very meaningful compliment
    today, from someone who (I think) had no
    ulterior motive in giving one to me. The
    best compliments, I think, are those that
    recognize one not when one is trying, but
    just when one is being. So I am happy that
    an action which I felt was simply "natural"
    in myself, was noticed and appreciated as
    an attractive quality by another person.

    Even Superman wanted someone to appreciate
    him, y'know. Goes for Superwoman, too.

    I went to Total Beve^H^H^H^HWine tonight.
    It's a rather strange experience for me
    to go shopping for wine on my own. Among
    other things*, I've never quite understood
    wine descriptions, and certainly not ones
    that talk about "hints of tobacco and ash"
    as selling points for a vintage! My likings
    in wine have broadened some over time, but
    I still don't care for many of the standard
    varieties of grapes, so I can ignore immense
    aisles of "Cab This" and "Pinot That" and
    "Rose Zinfandel" on my way to a lonely corner
    housing Malbecs and other "Alternative Grapes".

    Anyway, we'll see if the wine I got is as good
    from the bottle as it was from someone else's

Don't wait for death to solve your difficulties.
Do what you must while you are still alive.

Deng Ming-Dao, in _365 Tao_

* I have an odd spatial perception of how wine tastes, as if it were interacting with a Rubik's Cube of "spatastial" receptors in my mouth in addition to just receiving regular tastes. Wines I "like" are ones I perceive as distributing more evenly throughout all 27 possible sectors; wines I "dislike" tend to concentrate along 9 side(s). This doesn't happen with any other alcohol, beverages or food that I know of, and I don't generally have any other mixed perception akin to synesthesia. So it is an interesting experience for me, but confusing to try to explain to others...
netpositive: (firehand)
We either make ourselves miserable
or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.

Don Juan Matus
    Ah, I must have a very full life,
    if adding just a little bit more
    makes it overflow so.

    New wave and heavy metal.
    Tae Kwon Do and lindy hop.
    Social work and reading alone.
    Design and testing.
    Housecats and cheetahs.
    Regency romances, Civil War history,
    all the science fiction I can stomach,
    and all the fantasy I can stand.

    more text and some images behind cut )

    "Well... he tends to promise the moon,
    but then too often he tries to deliver
    a medium-sized asteroid instead."

    If I'd only had a spoon, I could have turned
    that sweet corn cake upside down, for you.
    But there is no spoon, yet.

You are the Sun in drag.
You are God hiding from yourself.

netpositive: (firehand)
... grant us, in our direst need, the smallest gifts:
the nail of the horseshoe, the pin of the axle,
the feather at the pivot point,
the pebble at the mountain's peak,
the kiss in despair, the one right word.
In darkness, understanding."

-Lois McMaster Bujold, _Paladin of Souls_
    I am grateful for the smallest gifts.

    Grateful for my health, my strength, my balance,
    my talents, my interests, and my core values.

    Grateful for patience and thoughtfulness.

    Grateful for the little black and white cat with
    the kink at the end of her tail, who crouches on
    my leg with her claws lovingly sunken into my knee.

    Grateful for a new year to live more life in.

    Grateful for those many people who have shared, or
    will share, their own sound and vision with me.

    Grateful for salt and gold, for drumbeats and tea,
    for books and music, for nighttime and sunshine.

    Grateful for the gift of laughter. And of touch.
    For the memory of fulfillment, and even of longing.

    Ah, she's moved now. Or is it I who is moving?

Oh soul, you worry too much
netpositive: (firehand)
Inevitably, Cosmic Forces get involved.
You know how it goes.

-Top 10, issue #2
    Personal, positive, present tense.
    Visual, auditory, emotional.

    While walking to the Metro this morning,
    I get a small stone stuck inside my shoe,
    small enough to rattle around while walking.

    With all the construction going on, both housing
    and commercial, there's lots of rubble around.

    This isn't as much a problem during the summer,
    as it's easy enough to knock a stone out of sandals.
    But now it's fall, and I'm wearing my sneakers,
    and it's the 2nd block of a 7-block walk,
    and I'm already running late.

    Don't have time to stop. Fix it when I get to Metro.

    At block 4, there's a traffic light at two major streets.
    Pedestrian crossing is complicated by both having medians,
    the street junction not even being close to perpendicular,
    normal traffic flow dictating left- *and* right-turn arrows,
    and unending construction on the Edmund Fitzgerald building
    image behind cut )
    (aka Clarendon 1021) continually blocking the cattycorner sidewalk.

    Crossing, not quite fast enough, get stranded on the median.

    Well, if I have to stand still for a few seconds anyway...

    Take right shoe off - shake - shake - shake -
    the left turn arrow shuts off -
    quick, have to finish crossing -
    with one stocking foot, shoe in hand.

    And when I put my shoe back on,
    there's a small stone inside it.


    I *think* it was a different stone - felt smaller, lighter,
    less pointy. But still annoying. Still a stone in the shoe.

    Finally shake it out on the upper escalator at the Metro.

    (so if on the way home I find that escalator broken...)

    A lot of one's life is like that. Of course one still has to try
    to overcome the obstacles, and reduce or remove annoyances.
    Struggling at work. Living at home. Or longing for the taste
    of grape juice in a world dominated by apple - orange - lemon.

    But sometimes, one just has to wait, until the right time
    to shake the stone completely, entirely, out of one's shoe.
Time goes, you say? Ah, no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.

-Henry Austin Dobson
netpositive: (iconnerific)
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.

images and text behind cut )
I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.

netpositive: (firehand)
Be with those who help your being.
Don’t sit with indifferent people, whose breath
comes cold out of their mouths.
Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.


Looking up, at the sun, the moon, the clouds, the stars.
Looking forward, into the wind, the rain, and the darkness.
Looking out, for myself, and for others.
Looking around, just to see what I can see.

And looking at your eyes, hoping they see: me.

images and text behind cut )

Self-conscious, uncertain
I'm showered with the dust
The spirit enters into me,
And I submit to trust.

(Smash the radio
No outside voices here
Smash the watch
Cannot tear the day to shreds
Smash the camera
Cannot steal away the spirits
The rhythm is around me
The rhythm has control
The rhythm is inside me
The rhythm has my soul...)

-Peter Gabriel
netpositive: (firehand)
Nothing ever goes away until
it has taught us what we need to know.

-Pema Chodron

Just do go ahead.
Another powerful mantra.

-George Dorn
    Is dreaming waking, or
    does it just lead to and from it?

    If I dream of Orange Line breakdowns and
    running on all fours on hot sticky asphalt
    to try to get anywhere; or if I dream of
    my favorite collaborator at work coming
    to me with one more idea/project and I find
    the words, "I can't do it, I'm too busy"
    come easily to my lips - but I wake up; or
    if I dream of The Last Italian as being
    a bit more thoughtful and concerned about me
    than he had usually been in real life, then
    where am I? Who am I? Which way am I going?

    Image behind cut )

    Dear Tir-na Nog'th aka Unconscious,

    Sorry there're so much stuff on (y)our plate(s)
    right now -- the hazards of complex patterns.
    Could you please refrain from sending anything
    more up the down escalator for the time being?
    We're just reflections, not separate storerooms.

    Forever yours in Amber,
The first step in this practice, then,
is to choose to see all of life as a classroom
filled with spiritual lessons. Be a lifelong learner
who walks in humility and with receptivity.

from Practice Teachers
netpositive: (window)
Begin to consider what you can do
just this week, just today, just this hour.
How small do you need to make the time frame
in order to feel positive? Don't worry about
details; focus on just one baby step. What can
you accomplish in the next five minutes?

Move your body; narrow your focus; take action.
    Some things that happen in a weekend:

    Carry-out Cincinnati chili with sour cream.
    A glass of amaretto w/peach schnapps.
    Watching part of a favorite videotape.
    Get solid sleep. Emergency laundry time.
    See a brace of films by Orson Welles.
    Greeting some old friends in passing.
    Review new search engine documentation.
    Steam is rising off the Potomac River.
    Out dancing to a rare appearance by a
    traditional big band at Glen Echo -
    go through three shirts, two towels,
    lots of trips to the water fountain, and
    a life-saving bottle of berry Gatorade.
    Meet up late-night with an Oreo milkshake.
    Sun-dry sheets while walking to Courthouse
    for some iced chai. Continue with laundry.
    Plan for an hour of yard work (with water).
    Work on summary documents for presentation
    on the e-gov standards usability testing.
    Color hair. Get ready for this busy week of
    training + work + home + life. Pet cats.

    Let's take July one step at a time.
Fear comes with the territory.
Stop thinking that fear must vanish
before you can start a project. Fear
is part of life. You'll hear it when
you're perched on your growing edge.
Tilt your head to listen -- and then
press on. Demystify the fear by saying,
'There's the same old fear sitting on my shoulder.
I'll just go about my business.'

from _Stress Reduction for Busy People_
netpositive: (Default)
Dealt with an unexpectedly difficult
meeting this morning, took some good
pictures, worked some on scheduling
and finances. Oh, and killed flies.
I'm afraid that I may have to give up my
Libertarian Discordian Taoist Union card
because of the last item. If flies want
to live, they really need to follow a
different path... one other than mine.

Trying to look up: pictures behind cut... )

And so what if I do write epic poetry at times?
That is for me to do, and you to wonder about.

"The sages may pronounce all [stress] to be
the folly of humanity. They are undoubtedly
right, but the words of the sages are too lofty
when we are scrounging in the dust for our
survival. Many of us must face these pressures,
at least for the moment. Even if we would like
a way out of this madness, we will not be able
to forsake society all at once."

Deng Ming-Dao
netpositive: (Default)
Let the waters settle -
you will see stars and moon
mirrored in your being.


Before going to bed each night,
think of at least three things
you did today of which you are proud.
netpositive: (Default)
This idea came via Dave Hogg,
who got it in turn from dmmaus.


  1. Start just outside your front door.

  2. Take 100 steps.

  3. Take a photo of whatever looks interesting.

  4. Take another 100 steps, take another photo.

  5. Repeat until you have walked at least 1000 steps, more if you wish.

  6. Post photos with comments.

* Try to mix it up a bit. Streetscapes, landscapes, interiors, candid portraits, close ups, etc.
* Bend the rules if you want.

I often mention my walk to work
in the mornings in my LJ, so I hope
this view of some of the things I see
may be an interesting window for you
into a part of my time and space...
Links to pictures, captions, and explanations... )


May. 9th, 2004 05:23 pm
netpositive: (Default)
Trying to find the way home
is the thing that convinces us we are lost.
We're not lost.
We're not alone.
We've never even left home.

    A busy weekend, but got some solid sleep.
    Beautiful weather here in DC. Thanks to Marc
    for making some time in his crazy schedule to
    finally take me to see the National Cathedral.

    Some pictures )

I listen to each new beat of my heart,
and I am so grateful for my body and my life.
I breathe in the sun and sounds and scents.
I touch the bright sky, and I taste fire.
You are a miracle. I am a miracle.
netpositive: (yellow tulip)
A tale of going east to west to north to south,
and around and around and around to come out: here.

    5:02 AM. The arrival phone call from the airport.
    Rise up and out of the house in ten minutes flat,
    a mug of Pepsi One wedged next to the parking brake.
    Off to Dulles. Roadway empty, sky a sullen blue.
    A lighted flag, lifted only slightly by the breeze,
    is vivid against the heavy cloud cover in the west.
    Pick up around 5:40. The airport turnaround brings
    to view a softer blue growing behind breaking clouds.
    Traffic on the road just traveled picking up quickly
    as business people push to make their flying daytrips.
    On autopilot, see the 495-N sign but miss the exit.
    Knowing this route well, cloverleaf to reverse course
    again just before a 6 AM 66-E backup swallows all hope.
    Around Beltway. up Parkway, all against commuter flow.
    Friendly chatter about well-known things and mysteries
    as the suitcase and guitar rattle together in the back.
    Dawn is still hidden behind the passing cloudwall as
    I leave Laurel at 6:40. Later would have been too late;
    295-S thickens several times like a snake eating mice.
    At Pennsylvania East the first rays of sunlight hit.
    Do de loop de loop one last time to change direction,
    from south to west-south-west, and open the car windows
    to chill my bare arms before picking up hot chai tea.

    Home at 7:40. Still dew on the tulips and a lonely iris,
    and the fancy coral azalea blooms slowly in the shade.

Got the time tick-tick-tick-tickin' in my head
Got the time tick-tick-tick-tickin' in my head
Got the time tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-

Joe Jackson
netpositive: (Default)
My life is filled with people
who care about me and support me.

    Everyone has some needs to be met.
    I do, you do, he does, she does.
    There are the simplest ones to see -
    water, food, clothing, shelter.
    There are many harder ones to know, like
    recognition, boundaries, respect, love.

    One can always try to meet another's needs.
    It can feel good to try to help someone else.
    But if there's no return - or the help fails -
    what does one do next? Give up, or try again?
    One only has a limited amount of time and energy.
    One clearly has to choose what one spends it on.
    And if one pours oneself out too completely, then
    what's left? Time runs out. Energy fades. What then?

    Caring for someone else is not just words, but actions.
    Don't just say "I love you" or "You are important to me."
    If it's the truth? Act like it once in a while.

I am a unique and precious person.
netpositive: (Default)
A deep storehouse of extremely positive thinking
manifests within me in any situation of need.

    I sometimes stress out about time and money.

    Money: )
I already possess within me anything I need
to become anything I want to be.

I have a rich collection of friends who value my qualities.

I take care of myself, but I ask for help when I need it.
netpositive: (Default)
A good daily exercise for soul loss would be
to stare at something in creation until it
begins to stare back.

Edward Hays in The Ladder
    Here's looking at you, kid.

    I am the lion stalking along the path.
    I am the tiger lurking in the cave.
    I am the cheetah posing on the hill.
    I am the bobcat baring its teeth.
    I am the housecat curled up on the bed.
    I am the serval disappearing into the undergrowth.

    I am the oak to lean upon.
    I am the cherry to bear fruit.
    I am the willow to weep under.
    I am the maple to climb up into.
    I am the spruce to survive winter.
    I am the dogwood to blossom forth.

    I am a half-finished building with harsh work lights.
    I am an old orange tractor in a newly cut pasture.
    I am a textured cubicle wall above a litebrite carpet.
    I am a nearby bookstore filled with French cafe music.
    I am ground drenched by rain, grass ruffled by wind.
    I am the terror of falling, and the transport of flying.

    I look at you looking at me.
    I find I become more than myself
    when I can share with you.
As long as you derive inner help
and comfort from anything,
keep it.

-Mahatma Gandhi
netpositive: (Default)
Gonna get my fingers dirty,
Gonna brush up on my fieldwork

-Ryuichi Sakamoto

    It's okay if I don't have a quick answer to every problem.
    It's okay if I'm unable to always foresee everything.
    It's okay if I'm not perfect and make mistakes.
    I keep trying.

    I'm learning to let go of worrying.
    I can always replace worrying with constructive action.
    Worrying about a problem is the real problem.
    Doing something about it will make a difference.

    I give myself credit for what I have done.
    I do the best I can based on what I know,
    and who I am.
A code we could unscramble,
A riddle to unravel,
Better brush up on my fieldwork


netpositive: (Default)

February 2013

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