Your haiku is thrilling. Its delicate and flowing imagery leads us to experience the sight, feeling and sound (through rightness in the choice of words and onomatopoeia) of the rain upon the person's body. The subtle movements of the rain (the kigo word) unite the person and the natural world. How open we are! And how vulnerable! Yet our strength is in this personal relationship with the natural world. Rain itself becomes personal. The rain trickles down the neck and spine. The spine contours within the body. The relationship between the rain and the person's body is intimate, just as each line in this marvelously traditional haiku (my favorite kind) resonates with the other two lines. This memorable haiku continues to excite upon each reading. It should also be read aloud, just as with Japanese-language haiku. The effect of this beautiful haiku read aloud is wonderful.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-06-15 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-15 04:30 am (UTC)