Strategy & tactics (5)

[netpositive]

The lone and level sands stretch far away.
-Shelley

Lives are changing all around me. Marriages,
births, big moves, and the occasional death, too.

My life changes so quietly. I'm too close to see.
I don't celebrate things in a big way. I can be
often grateful for the tiniest things in my life,
but I have no grand memories. The hazard of living
kaizen, or of practicing wu-wei -- no markers, no
monuments, no pedestal of Ozymandius. Only a path
receding back dimly, and moving off forward, into
a hazy distance.

Happy with where I am? Yes, it's better than it was,
I am scared or angry less often, enjoying more.

Happy with what I am? Yes, the more I see of other people,
the more gifted and lucky I realize I am.

Happy with who I am? Yes, but I still want to be more.

A long time ago, a friend read a long list of
"I want" and mentioned that I was missing the word
"hope".

One question I'm having: What should I hope for?

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
-Coleridge

Comments

[daecabhir]

Hope is, I think, a two-edge sword. Hope can represent a more "open" or positive posture in the world, but hope can also represent the "grasping" or selfish nature that is the cause for much of our personal suffering, because on a certain level it reflects a fear of things not happening the way we want them. Of course, "I want" can reflect this on an even greater level if we let it.

'Tis better, methinks, to simply be. I guess I have spent enough time listening to and reading basic Buddhist teachings that some of it has rubbed off on me... I do think that much of our personal suffering comes from within, and much of that is tied to the definition and defense of "self", along with focusing on things over which we have no direct control. To find pleasure in the tiniest things, one has to be present at the moment that they occur... celebrating things in a big way can (it seems) often entail being wrapped up in something so much that we lose sight of what is going on at the moment.

If you are happier, truly happier, because there is less anger and fear in your life, you are way ahead of many of us. Don't so much fret over what you have not done, or what you believe you do not have (such as a concrete hope of some sort)... cherish what you have, share that happiness, that goodness with others around you, and be present with the moment. Then I will study you myself, so that I can put my own words into action. :)

Will we be seeing you this evening?

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the alternate viewpoint. My background for doing and dealing and interpreting is more Taoist than Buddhist. But the comment about what engenders personal suffering is... apt. See you later.