Noblesse oblige (2)

You're not supposed to settle for okay.
You're supposed to want to be the best.
-an unidentified voice in my head

Well, not entirely *inside* my head, but from
not too far away. Normally I can pin down from where
(or whom) a particularly distorted viewpoint is coming...

This feels externally imposed, and of recent vintage.
As if I've been watching too many reality/game shows,
and partially been internalizing the wrong values.

In my own space, I've been circling around and finally
landed on top of an important insight about my overall
sources, levels, and efforts of creativity which can
flippantly be summarized as "I write most when I'm bored."

More precisely: the types of work I'm doing most within
my current, half-chosen profession, require much the same
type of perspectives that I (would) utilize as a writer.

Unfort, I am not one of those people who is 100% immersed
in a single consistent mindset, and so I can see one reason
why I have the longing to write, but not the performance --
I have been using up much of what I do have, doing my work.

Now what to do about that, is still under consideration. :l

Dear Tir'na na Nogth,
Was it necessary to be so literal in my latest dream by
having my car fall into a sinkhole and I escape upward
to the light without being touched once by the mud? If
that was supposed to be a nightmare, it actually failed.
Though I don't think that was your intention. Sorry if
I missed a cue to go on a spirit quest or something...
I'm a little dense these days, but you know I'm working
on being a less material being in a more spiritual world.

People living deeply have no fear of death.
-Anais Nin