Reflectology (6), or, Looking Forward, Looking Back

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-Eddie Rickenbacker

I have spent a lot of energy not being angry.
I walk, I breathe, I work, I read, I think.
Or I spend a lot of time fighting my anger.
I dance, I write, I play, I sigh, I sleep.
I acknowledge my anger and I want to move on.
Tired of wasting precious time on the stupid,
the lame, the halt. Sick of the energy drain.
The world is so slow, and I am so fast...
I eat, I drink, I listen. I dream. I hope?

I know I am a very lucky person. I don't mind
being an example -- hopefully sometimes a good one --
but please understand: I am a very lucky person.

I also believe that one often makes one's own luck.
That does not negate the previous statement at all.

And yet sometimes, I wake up afraid. Very afraid.

Patience, listening, trust. Most important?

I believe in magic. I do. I believe that the world
is numinous. Now, if I could just see that more often.

Even if you're running late, if you want to go, go!
Because you never know. You just never know.

Ah, but don't you see: I *am* queen.


Dear Tir-na Nog'th, aka Unconscious,

I understand that you think Standard
Nightmare #2 is so important to repeat
that you ran it as a mini-series *and*
a sequel for summer rerun time. I get it.
I got it. I grok.

Now could we change the channel for a bit?

Forever yours in Amber,
Conscious

Shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
and let me see--
-ELO