The difference a day makes

New opportunities to use my special skills
now open up for me.
A "Vital Affirmations" Card

So. Another place that I interviewed called, just
two business days after I accepted the first (good) offer.
I cut him off gently and told him about it
before he got to the reason for his call,
so I don't actually know whether
they were going to offer or not.
I suppose I could have let them go ahead,
if they were so inclined.
On Friday, or even Monday, I would have done so.
I was prepared to, then. I was ready for things.
And, I certainly could have used more ego boost.
(For that matter, I still could use it.)

But now it's Tuesday, and I'm struggling here.
I am hoping I've gotten one positive thing set up
for the near future, but nothing feels certain yet.
And I'm really discontented with what is currently,
and I'm not handling it very well. Other things are
continuing wrong, and I don't know how to fix them.

And I didn't need to feel like I was second-choice
or second-rate, any more than I already do. *sigh*

No, this isn't the life I dreamed of, or even wanted
a few years ago. It's just the life I have right now.
But there ought to be more than just being grateful
everyone woke up alive this morning. Isn't there?

So I guess maybe I just wanted to say to someone today
that hey, someone else wanted me in some fashion.
Wanted me as I am now, apparently.
Talked to me and listened to me and liked me.
Even asked what I wanted, and actually gave it to me.

Why is that so hard?

Please renew my connection with life. Please. Please.
I want to see the sun.
I want to be warm.
I want to be.

Don't give up too easily.
Give it your best and feel tested.
-Morgan Green