Now I know I have a heart

[netpositive]

...because it's breaking.
-The Tin Woodsman

Frenchy's kidney disease just... accelerated.


Maybe a few days if we push it, and get lucky.

Much of this year has been good. But then,
there are moments like these where none of
the good matters much, except to hang on to.

I often come across to others as stoic, but
there are times I wish I could be more so.

I don't even know what's worse -- sudden
heart-wrenching loss, or ongoing heartache.

Right now, I have both. And I still can't say.

When you get so down that you can't get up
And you want so much but you're all out of luck
When you're so downhearted and misunderstood
Just over & over & over you could

Accroches-toi a ton reve
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Quand tu vois ton bateau partir
Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser
Accroches-toi a ton reve.
-ELO

Comments

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

:(

These things are never easy

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was too soon and too sudden to lose that much love.

[tcb.livejournal.com]

I am so very familiar.. I'm still not over Merlin..

I'm so sorry..

*hugs*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I know you know how hard it is to lose family. *hug*

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Oh honey I'm sorry. God knows that I know what this is like. It doesn't help to say that, but I do understand. Just spend as much time with him as you can. Indulge his favorite treats, take photos, play music if he likes it, play games if he has them, anything that will give both of you the chance to treasure this time.

I'm sorry. I only met him once and I'm going to miss him too.

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you and Matt got to meet him. It was hard to be with him the last day or so, as he was so sick he wasn't purring and didn't want to be held much, but I wanted him to know we were there.

Though when he did get on the bed once, I think I detected a ghost purr. *ghost of a smile*

[cchan8.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear it. *hugs*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. He was an amazingly loving cat and I miss him a lot.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Appreciated.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

Been there once already,
Now dealing with it again in Keisha.

*hugs*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I lost both my own cats (14 and 10) within two months back in late 1999, so I remembered a bit how hard it is and how horrible it feels, but this was rather a sudden shock as his early stage kidney disease had checked out stable earlier in the year. :/

[callibr8]

Awwwww... really sorry to hear this. He's been such a wonderful, loving companion. Give him extra scritches for me. *HUGS*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm so very glad you got a chance to see him earlier this year so you saw what he was like. One of the hidden saddest things in this is I keep thinking of all the people he didn't have a chance to meet, and love.

[callibr8]

I'm glad I got a chance to meet him too. The "lilac and magnolia fur" and "fluffy bundle of love" descriptions are so eloquent and apropos. Condolences to you and yours. *HUGS*

[davehogg.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm so so sorry.

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks a lot, Dave. I'm sorry you never got a chance to meet him.

[kimberlogic.livejournal.com]

I am so very, very sorry. I'm still not over losing Merlin at all. These days must be both very precious and very hard.

*hugs*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was very hard to be with him, but I couldn't not be there. And then I kept on thinking I was finally going to be calm... and all of a sudden tears would burst again from all the good memories as much as the bad reality. *hug*

[madbodger.livejournal.com]

Aww, nuts! *hugs* I haven't seen Frenchy in forever!

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, I've been kicking myself for not being coordinated enough this year to hold the Spring Party and share the Frenchy love. But I couldn't know. *sigh*

[noire.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's so very hard...It's eight years now and we're still not over Vivoli...

More *hugs*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks, lovely woman. *hug* I'm doubly glad now you guys visited us in spring. (And I'm hoping to return the favor later in the year...)

[vandaluna.livejournal.com]

Sometimes our pets (especially kitties) seem to know our souls so well and we become close to them. When nothing seems to be able to cheer me my babies do. I'm so sorry to hear about Frenchie. Stoic? I think you are very philosophical, but I think you have a very tender soul. I know you will miss Frenchie so much and will mourn her for a long long time. I'm glad she was/is loved.

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks, V. I have so many Frenchy stories about how much he loved everyone he came into contact with, but Marc would always joke to me that I was "Frenchy's woman" and I know without any doubt that he loved me a great deal.

(Male Balinese are often especially clingy; one breeder writing about them online said her family called them "Mommy's marsupials", and it's odd sitting home alone - I keep half-waiting for him to jump up on my lap once again. :/)

[dancingdeer.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I wish you all the strength you need to deal with this. *hugs*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm sorry you couldn't ever come by and meet him, but imagine total adoration wrapped up in lilac-and-magnolia fur, and that was our Fluffy Bundle of Love.

[daecabhir]

I know all too well the pain associated with the impending loss of a beloved companion... and stoic is not what you want to be my dear... it would be a disservice to not show how you feel. **hugs**

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Appreciate the understanding. I wanted to be strong for everyone else, so they didn't have to worry about me. But I don't know how well I managed that; I am more easily moved to tears than my normal unreactive countenance might let on. Sorry you guys never got to meet him. *hug*

[jmax315.livejournal.com]

Know how you feel. Wish I didn't. *hug*

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thank you, John. I don't know if you ever met my white cat George, but Frenchy was about 10 times as loving an animal. Losing that, leaves quite a quiet, cold hole in one's life. *hug*

[candyguru.livejournal.com]

Aw, honey. I'm sorry...

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks PB. It's turned out an extra secret blessing that I've been working from home so much with being free-lance = so much more lap time for Frenchy these last few months. :.)

[gorgeousgary]

Sorry to hear about Frenchy **hugs**

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Thanks. He was not quite 11; having only had him for 6 years seems like both forever and just yesterday. As you have seen what he was like, you know he is much missed. *hug*