netpositive: (Default)
A rendered transliteration of the Middle English original.
For those of you not conversant with ME, þ ~= some kind of th.


Sumer is icumen in
Lhude sing cuccu!
Groweþ sed and bloweþ med
and springþ þe wode nu.
Sing cuccu!

Awe bleteþ after lomb,
Lhouþ after calue cu,
Bulluc sterteþ, bucke verteþ.
Murie sing cuccu!
Cuccu, cuccu,
Wel singes þu cuccu.
ne swik þu naver nu!
Sing cuccu nu, Sing cuccu!

    Sing me, sing you, sing cuccu too...

    The world goes swift around
    On an axis that shifts instant;
    Sometimes it seems sound
    that only change is constant.

    Dreams are hard to share
    Being so personal a metaphor;
    For our needs that need care
    Are the why that dreams are for.

    Your time is not anyone else's,
    So allot your hours as you may.
    Call it a virtue to be selfish --
    If that new self meets others halfway.

    Longings deferred be not longings denied,
    Long distances need not estrange --
    A walk on your path can be tried,
    But only my own can I change.

    Groweth sed, and bloweth med,
    and springst the world anew.
    Spring and summer are coming, she said:
    In season, let our own selves come true.

Life is all about timing...
the unreachable becomes reachable,
the unavailable become available,
the unattainable... attainable.
Have the patience, wait it out.
It's all about timing.

-Stacey Charter

Back to work.
netpositive: (firehand)
[Part of this was originally posted private on July 21, 2009.
Updated 12/2/2009 to honor helping hands and making mistakes.]


Bob Uecker, who does play-by-play for the Milwaukee Brewers,
said something the other day that I'm still thinking about.
He was talking about power hitters, and what makes a really
excellent one, and what he said was, "They hit mistakes really hard."
The key here is, he's not talking about the PITCHER's mistakes,
because of course they slug the bejesus out of those. He's talking about
THEIR mistakes. Even when they get ahead of the ball and they're not
going to be able to pull it, they still hit it with everything they've got.
And sometimes, that ball goes out of the park just the same as if
they'd done what they wanted.

-truepenny, in a comment on a post about a post about a post about writing
    Tao is about ten thousand things,
    and the one.

    Try to deal with ten items a day. Move them around,
    use them up, throw them out, whatever works.

    Whenever eating anything with tomato sauce, remember to
    wear a black shirt and also have the laundry hamper handy.

    There must be at least a hundred ways to game a system.
    When in doubt, consider that anything can be solved
    given enough time or willingness to break things.
    Which one would you choose?

    That's a minimum of ten items, by the way.
    You can always go to eleven if you want to.

    Do things you enjoy.
    Do things you can.
    Do things.

    A picture can be worth a thousand words. Though sometimes
    one word is "Aww..." and it just gets repeated a thousand times.

    Thanks Bill, Berry, Cait, cats, and Wolfie.
If we do not fear to commit mistakes, if we take the omens
as a warning, as a help to cross that particular day, then
we start to get deeper and deeper into the soul of the world.

-Paulo Coehlo
netpositive: (frenchy)
The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.

– Benjamin Mays
    One can do things without having a goal, but
    then there's no good way to measure progress.

    The last couple of years have been both personally and
    professionally difficult, but useful. I learned that
    things happen, and you deal with them, and move on.

    And sadly there *were* a lot of positive things
    that I never wrote about, mostly because it takes me
    such a long time to write anything -- and then often
    by the time I figured things out, the urgency to write
    had passed.

    I am always very happy about good things that happen to
    other people. My friend noire has a new book coming out,
    as does ctan. Whuffle and halleyscomet are about to have
    their first child. Other people are graduating, marrying,
    getting new jobs, studying abroad, moving on, moving out.

    Where am I right now?

    I'll try to talk more about good things as I go along.
    But I know I'm not perfect. And I don't want to crow,
    or make other people envious. I work hard -- but I also
    know I'm very lucky. And I'm grateful for those of you
    who have supported me in good times and in tough ones.

Remember not only to say the right thing
in the right place, but far more difficult still,
to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

-Ben Franklin
netpositive: (frenchy)
That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion

-R.E.M.
    I already knew, but it was also the very first thing
    I heard on the radio as I got into the car.

    Driving home tonight was about as creepy a trip
    as I've ever taken. Lights were all too bright,
    cars were far too close. I had to turn the radio
    down twice, and then completely off.

    It seemed like people were driving worse than usual.
    Then I noticed the 14th Street Bridge goes over water.
    I'm so used to going over it, it seldom registers now,
    but it did tonight. And the disabled cars, with people
    standing so close to traffic doing 50+ mph. And planes
    flying low overhead. And... and...

    And my chest is hurting because I'm still breathing,
    but barely, head and heart both arguing with lungs
    and intestines. Long pauses between short breaths, and
    a painful pit in the bottom of my stomach, telling me:
    "And someday, you know, that will be you. Someday."

    No, it's not me. Not yet. I'm still alive, for now.
    But you never know, do you. Who, what, where, when.

    So often, I don't know how you other people do it.
    How do you live daily with the terror that someday,
    you'll die? Feeling that there is no one standing
    between you and eternity? Worrying there is never
    enough time, and seeing what you've already wasted?
    Knowing that whenever life stops -- then you lose?

    I hate being so afraid of death, what feels like
    all the time. Sometimes I feel like it goes away.
    I go days, weeks, months without dwelling on it.

    And then something happens, to bring it all back.

    Or worse. And yes, this is about me, but it's also
    me thinking about death and anger and grief and loss
    and how you handle it. And me mourning the tragedy of
    someone I met in person for a brief moment years ago,
    but whose work I have admired for over two decades.

    No, I don't want to be just waiting here for death.
    Yes, I do want to live. And I don't want to die.
    But sometimes, I find myself losing the way.
    And so often, I'm so scared.


R.I.P.
Daniel Benoit, 2000-2007
Nancy Daus Benoit, 1964-2007
Chris Benoit, 1967-2007
netpositive: (Default)
Ive seen so many things that made me wonder
But sometimes its hard to tell--

-Lindsey Buckingham
    Yesterday:

    - sunny
    - 8 AM conference call, sounds like workflow is picking up
    - still sunny
    - sent director, logistics my current project status and upcoming availability
    - did I mention sunny?
    - went hiking in woods without leaves
    - put sunscreen on nose and cheeks
    - ate already-shelled pistachios
    - sunny and warm!
    - saw tadpoles
    - made sure to drink water
    - heard birds, but never saw one other than a lone crow scouting overhead
    - hooray for sunny and warm
    - laughed at hearing a power saw
    - bought a flyswatter at Target
    - my car smelled like hyacinths
    - started rereading _Barrayar_ (the one Vorkosigan book I don't own myself)
    - dinner involved ground beef, mushrooms, spaghetti squash, and radishes
    - relaxed a bit (about 37 on the 40 point scale ;) )
    - dancing, did a lot of broad smiling even though no basket whips tonight
    - this week's band has improved back to "yeah, gotta remember I like them now"
    - still warm when I came home
    - but felt cool mist when I went back out to the car
    - put the comforter back on the bed


    Today:
    - wild thunderstorm at 4 AM
    - didn't bother to open my eyes to see lightning, just listened to the booming
    - dreaming about screaming at someone else
    - Stojko was cuddly: purrs, licks, headbutts, flops, the whole kitten kaboodle
    - got up late, had my morning cups of tea
    - had an article on Bob Dorough read to me after breakfast
    - listened to "Verb! That's What's Happening" [cause and effect :) ]
    - my desk smells like hyacinths
    - Sato seems to have suddenly decided my lap is a okay place to glom onto
    - weather sucks. overcast, cooling. blah. more than ready for spring.
    - check arrives in the mail
    - start planning next few days at least
    - keep looking up, if not always forward
Here comes the night time
Lookin' for a little more
Waitin' on the right time
Somebody outside the door
Don't blame me
Please be strong I know I'm not wrong

-Lindsey Buckingham
netpositive: (firehand)
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
-Shelley
    Lives are changing all around me. Marriages,
    births, big moves, and the occasional death, too.

    My life changes so quietly. I'm too close to see.
    I don't celebrate things in a big way. I can be
    often grateful for the tiniest things in my life,
    but I have no grand memories. The hazard of living
    kaizen, or of practicing wu-wei -- no markers, no
    monuments, no pedestal of Ozymandius. Only a path
    receding back dimly, and moving off forward, into
    a hazy distance.

    Happy with where I am? Yes, it's better than it was,
    I am scared or angry less often, enjoying more.

    Happy with what I am? Yes, the more I see of other people,
    the more gifted and lucky I realize I am.

    Happy with who I am? Yes, but I still want to be more.

    A long time ago, a friend read a long list of
    "I want"
    and mentioned that I was missing the word
    "hope".

    One question I'm having: What should I hope for?
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!

-Coleridge
netpositive: (firehand)
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you're scared.

-Eddie Rickenbacker
    I have spent a lot of energy not being angry.
    I walk, I breathe, I work, I read, I think.
    Or I spend a lot of time fighting my anger.
    I dance, I write, I play, I sigh, I sleep.
    I acknowledge my anger and I want to move on.
    Tired of wasting precious time on the stupid,
    the lame, the halt. Sick of the energy drain.
    The world is so slow, and I am so fast...
    I eat, I drink, I listen. I dream. I hope?

    I know I am a very lucky person. I don't mind
    being an example -- hopefully sometimes a good one --
    but please understand: I am a very lucky person.

    I also believe that one often makes one's own luck.
    That does not negate the previous statement at all.

    And yet sometimes, I wake up afraid. Very afraid.

    Patience, listening, trust. Most important?

    I believe in magic. I do. I believe that the world
    is numinous. Now, if I could just see that more often.

    Even if you're running late, if you want to go, go!
    Because you never know. You just never know.

    Ah, but don't you see: I *am* queen.


    Dear Tir-na Nog'th, aka Unconscious,

    I understand that you think Standard
    Nightmare #2 is so important to repeat
    that you ran it as a mini-series *and*
    a sequel for summer rerun time. I get it.
    I got it. I grok.

    Now could we change the channel for a bit?

    Forever yours in Amber,
    Conscious
Shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
and let me see--

-ELO
netpositive: (iconnerific)
By being receptive, we can avail ourselves
of the spiritual wealth available to us.

By being open, we can receive things
beyond what we ourselves might imagine.
—Deng Ming-Dao in Everyday Tao

To Practice This Thought:
Don't stifle new possibilities because of
your fear, doubt, or closed-mindedness.

from Soul Booster
    The first shoe has dropped.
    The other shoe is dropping --
    or is it just in freefall?

    Yes, I have a little change coming.

    Thank you, Eli Manning.
Even if He bars all the roads and passage-ways,
He will show you a hidden path unknown to all others.

-Rumi
netpositive: (iconnerific)
[in telling how the wildlife
are coming back to his family's
farm, now returned to nature]
The pumas are back! You know,
one puma tells another.

Sebastiao Salgado
    I see the future.

    It is an orange warning cone,
    yellow caution tape,
    a white sawhorse,
    and a tree with fall leaves falling
    against an indifferent sky.

    Nonetheless, at least I see the future.
To Gandalf, the far-off memories of
a journey long before were now of little help,
but even in the gloom
and despite all the windings of the road
he knew whither he wished to go,
and he did not falter as long as there was
a path that led towards his goal.
netpositive: (iconnerific)
When you think of [x] as your business,
you also think of [y] as the machinery
that makes that business operate.

It would be nice if you could let everyone use [y],
but basically you've got to use it yourself.

Bobby Baldwin, as told to Mike Caro
    Lessons from unlikely sources this week:

    The original of the above quote used
    "gambling" for [x] and "money" for [y].

    But... that could so easily be rewritten
    with [x] as one of many different words
    and [y] standing for "time", "energy", etc.

    My time in this life is important to me.
    My energy in this life is important to me.
    I use them as I need to, to make life better.
    I use them to create happiness
    for myself and others.
    I use them to gather strength
    for myself and others.
    I use them to offer support
    to myself and others.
    I use them for teaching,
    learning, and creativity.
    I use them to face fears
    and to move forward
    in small steps.
Apart from the scars, the one remaining trace
of Brunson's run-in with death is an obsession
with punctuality. "To me, a man's word is his bond.
When you say you're going to be somewhere at a
certain time, that's your word, and if you don't
keep the appointment your word's not worth a damn.
I feel very strongly about it.... The most valuable
thing I've got is my time. It's more valuable to me
than money or anything else." It was the only sign
he ever gave of being a man who feels he is living
on borrowed time.

A. Alvarez, on poker legend Doyle Brunson
netpositive: (firehand)
Irrational idea for today:
It is bad or wrong to be selfish.

    Some of the escalators are still broken.
    Yet a third of the window is still uncovered.
    Can't do anything or get anything done right now.
    I can barely remember the mere memory of juice,
    but yet lift my feet - hands - head to seek it out,
    with a blinded nose and near-tasteless mouth.
    Such is my strength, and also my weakness.

Refuting the irrational idea:
    The objective facts: My own needs were ignored.
    Negative self-talk: My needs aren't important.
    Focus on response: Unwanted.
    Dispute and change: What has happened past, has.
    But that doesn't mean it has to continue that way.
    People can be interested in who and what I am.
    Alternative self-talk: I am considerate of others'
    needs as well as my own, for my own well-being.
    text and images behind cut )

Don't put another cup of wine in my hand,
pour it in my mouth.
For I have lost the way to my mouth.

-Rumi
netpositive: (iconnerific)
The coincidence of a vague physical resemblance
followed by an accidental but absolute audio replica
brings up a vibrant ghost from the past...
    Sometimes,
    I close my eyes,
    and I just hear your voice.

    Frightening,
    the power of sound,
    after all this time apart.

    I could never explain to others
    how so many of your questions got answers,
    how the simplest of words complicated everything.

    Repeating
    the vowels in your last name,
    I know nothing has changed except the calendar.

    Pain may drain away.
    But anger - and hunger - stay.

    I paid.
    Still, I do regret
    not always doing right by you.

    Sometimes,
    I close my eyes,
    and I just hear your voice.

    Every night,
    I close my eyes.
netpositive: (firehand)
Just for today I will know my own spirit,
and take hold of all my own personal power.
Tomorrow will come. Today already is.
    Why do I not -
    Why do I knot -
    Y do I knot -
    How do I untie?

    Breathe, oh, breathe, oh, breathe.
    Breathe when you're asleep.
    Breathe when you're awake.
    Breathe as though your heart is breaking.
    Breathe as though your love is waking.
    Step up into the light and cast a shadow;
    step up into a shadow and remember the dark.
    Breathe with each step, and breathe between.

    I close my eyes and I can see so much, my
    dreams filled with details, but no faces.
    Yet I know you all, the quick and the dead.
    And you know me too -
    well, only if you care to.
I choose to move through difficulties,
disappointments and apparent defeat
by using them to move forward and
develop all my qualities. My final success
will be even greater than I imagined.
netpositive: (Default)
...in other words, life ain't fair,
enjoy the bounty provided us,
and try to make things better.

-madbodger
    Dropped by Costco this morning. Normally
    I'm not the one who makes Costco runs, but
    I was already awake, and we were running
    low on cheddar cheese and microwave popcorn...
    The Long Story Short )
Did I change anyone's view of the world today?
I don't know. I just did what I always do: be myself.

And the universe rewards me with ten thousand things.
netpositive: (firehand)
Inevitably, Cosmic Forces get involved.
You know how it goes.

-Top 10, issue #2
    Personal, positive, present tense.
    Visual, auditory, emotional.

    While walking to the Metro this morning,
    I get a small stone stuck inside my shoe,
    small enough to rattle around while walking.

    With all the construction going on, both housing
    and commercial, there's lots of rubble around.


    This isn't as much a problem during the summer,
    as it's easy enough to knock a stone out of sandals.
    But now it's fall, and I'm wearing my sneakers,
    and it's the 2nd block of a 7-block walk,
    and I'm already running late.

    Don't have time to stop. Fix it when I get to Metro.

    At block 4, there's a traffic light at two major streets.
    Pedestrian crossing is complicated by both having medians,
    the street junction not even being close to perpendicular,
    normal traffic flow dictating left- *and* right-turn arrows,
    and unending construction on the Edmund Fitzgerald building
    image behind cut )
    (aka Clarendon 1021) continually blocking the cattycorner sidewalk.

    Crossing, not quite fast enough, get stranded on the median.

    Well, if I have to stand still for a few seconds anyway...

    Take right shoe off - shake - shake - shake -
    the left turn arrow shuts off -
    quick, have to finish crossing -
    with one stocking foot, shoe in hand.

    And when I put my shoe back on,
    there's a small stone inside it.

    Grr.

    I *think* it was a different stone - felt smaller, lighter,
    less pointy. But still annoying. Still a stone in the shoe.

    Finally shake it out on the upper escalator at the Metro.

    (so if on the way home I find that escalator broken...)

    A lot of one's life is like that. Of course one still has to try
    to overcome the obstacles, and reduce or remove annoyances.
    Struggling at work. Living at home. Or longing for the taste
    of grape juice in a world dominated by apple - orange - lemon.

    But sometimes, one just has to wait, until the right time
    to shake the stone completely, entirely, out of one's shoe.
Time goes, you say? Ah, no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.

-Henry Austin Dobson
netpositive: (firehand)
Stretch within your limits.
If you can't move your arm,
lift your fingers. Never devalue what is
currently possible for you to do.

-from _Stress Reduction for Busy People_
    Take a deep breath.
    Move when you need to.
    Stand still when you have to.
    Start moving again when you can.
    Act with high intention and
    purposeful awareness. Embody.
    images behind cut )
I savor every moment given me.
I plan for the future, but
I live for the now. I open myself
to the gifts the Universe holds for me
and value all my connection to the divine.

What beautiful teeth this animal has.
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Using the light, being dark,
Being the world,
You perfect harmony
And return to the Way.

-Tao Te Ching, "Becoming"

    I'm feeling more isolated than usual here at work.

    Internal teams and projects have been reorganized.
    And we're about to start a major additional effort
    without what seem to be adequate resources, and
    with what seems to be rather, er, belated planning.

    Even without being paranoid about some "nuances"
    or outcomes of choices being made - or not made -
    I feel uncomfortable with the current direction.

    I don't disagree with the basic concept, but
    I'm worried right now about our ability to execute
    everything well and on time - if we can at all.

    A number of my coworkers are very good people.
    Smart, hard-working, some offbeat senses of humor.
    They have made it bearable to be working in the midst
    of our normal state of blind chaos. But it feels like
    my efforts to help promote visibility or organize chaos
    have not borne any of the fruit I had hoped for yet -
    if they will at all. I know I've gotten a lot of credit
    for trying... but where do I trade in that credit now?

    And as the year fails, I am now looking for some sense of
    finished accomplishments, or of continued progress.

    I keep coming back to this quote that struck a chord,
    from the training sessions I attended last week:

    Automating chaos leads to faster chaos.
    -Dorothy Graham

    Where am I? Where do I go from here? How do I get there?

image behind cut )

I choose to stay grounded, and observe
my situation with compassion and detachment.
netpositive: (firehand)
Be with those who help your being.
Don’t sit with indifferent people, whose breath
comes cold out of their mouths.
Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.

-Rumi

Looking up, at the sun, the moon, the clouds, the stars.
Looking forward, into the wind, the rain, and the darkness.
Looking out, for myself, and for others.
Looking around, just to see what I can see.

And looking at your eyes, hoping they see: me.

images and text behind cut )

Self-conscious, uncertain
I'm showered with the dust
The spirit enters into me,
And I submit to trust.

(Smash the radio
No outside voices here
Smash the watch
Cannot tear the day to shreds
Smash the camera
Cannot steal away the spirits
The rhythm is around me
The rhythm has control
The rhythm is inside me
The rhythm has my soul...)

-Peter Gabriel
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Lion: All right. I'll go in there
for Dorothy - Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch -
guards or no guards - I'll tear 'em apart.
Ohhh! I may not come out alive but I'm going in there.
There's only one thing I want you fellas to do...
Tin Man and Scarecrow: What's that?
Lion: Talk me out of it.


Last weekend, while the mice were away:
text behind cut )
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man: Courage!
Lion: You can say that again!
netpositive: (Default)
Left the book I'm reading on the kitchen counter -
along with the folder with the latest sketches.
Dropped off the blue shoes for reheeling and gluing.
Found out my favorite sandals can't be resoled.

Recreated all the sketches while standing in Metro.
Hit the ground running at work, and never stopped.
Delivered 12 screens covering all the public views
(finished them yesterday, proofread this morning).

Still refining the paper prototype templates further
before starting on designs from the latest sketches.
Reported a bug. Modified draft project plan template
and sent it on to the next person starting a project.

Answered questions about search, navigation, usability,
relevancy evaluation, scheduling, form design, and search.
Talked with my federal manager - have things to consider.

Finally remembered to update my timesheet for yesterday
(and last Friday, last Thursday, and last Wednesday...).
Admin designs from the latest sketches are not yet done
for presentation to client and users tomorrow at 3 PM...

Images behind cut... )

Who am I? Do you know? I do - but then I blink.

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netpositive: (Default)
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