netpositive: (Default)
Stress is what you feel when you have
to handle more than you are used to.

-WebMd
    I did not dream last night.

    Ssy, have you seen me recently?
    I'm not exactly lost,
    but I don't feel very found.

    I want to sleep long enough to dream.

    I'd like to be present in the moment.

    I need to get by.

    Right now.

    Breathe.

    Walk away.

Your goal should never be to avoid mistakes at all costs
and seek control. Your goal should be to strengthen your
perseverance by effectively dealing with the situation
when things go awry.

-a random article on Perseverance
netpositive: (bloodylane)
Have you heard of "conjugating adjectives" in English?

I'm thrifty; you're frugal; he's cheap.
I'm assertive; you're aggressive; she's pushy.


This postholder is possibly about declining nouns.

One person's rescue is another person's escape.
Someone's dream job may be someone else's nightmare.


Sometimes, you do the right thing -- and it doesn't work.
From a particular reference point, looking up may only mean
straight ahead, but it's still a change in point of view.

Trying to reframe this... but it's not easy.

Don't take it personally. Try giving it away instead.

Just another poor boy off to fight a rich man's war

I dreamed last night. Then I woke up and remembered it.

Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a pattern you can walk.
But first you have to find your feet. Then you have to move.
netpositive: (bluebells)
So in between the B/W Parkway and West Park Drive,
there's this moment in time and space:


Empty space in your head next day
Memories have come and they have gone
Open your eyes can't get back to sleep
Though it's the earliest crack of dawn
There's a nagging something
You can't quite put your finger on...

-Tracy McDonnell
    Do I feel better because I take the vitamins,
    or do I take the vitamins because I feel better?
    Or maybe the vitamins take me.
    Whatever. Just take the vitamins.

    Easy games can provide a sense of accomplishment.
    It may seem like a "false" sense because the game
    is not "real". But you, and your play, are as real as.

    Try asking for what you want. It's hard to hear nos,
    but at least you're speaking for yourself when you do.

    More honey than vinegar. But vinegar can bring the tart.

    Let's face the music -- and dance.

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together
to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather
teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
netpositive: (Default)
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

-Lyle Lovett
    When I was a child, I read Thor Heyerdahl.
    So I've been in sacred caves on Easter Island.

    When I was a child, I read Joy Adamson.
    So I've been to the savanna and run wild.

    When I was a child, I read J.R.R. Tolkien.
    So I've been to Middle Earth and met Ents.

    I'm not bad at traveling once I get going.
    But I never really understand it
    until I get there.

    If then.

    I want to go to the place where I want to be.

    You know where that is?

    I don't.
It is not down in any map; true places never are.
-Herman Melville
netpositive: (firehand)
[Part of this was originally posted private on July 21, 2009.
Updated 12/2/2009 to honor helping hands and making mistakes.]


Bob Uecker, who does play-by-play for the Milwaukee Brewers,
said something the other day that I'm still thinking about.
He was talking about power hitters, and what makes a really
excellent one, and what he said was, "They hit mistakes really hard."
The key here is, he's not talking about the PITCHER's mistakes,
because of course they slug the bejesus out of those. He's talking about
THEIR mistakes. Even when they get ahead of the ball and they're not
going to be able to pull it, they still hit it with everything they've got.
And sometimes, that ball goes out of the park just the same as if
they'd done what they wanted.

-truepenny, in a comment on a post about a post about a post about writing
    Tao is about ten thousand things,
    and the one.

    Try to deal with ten items a day. Move them around,
    use them up, throw them out, whatever works.

    Whenever eating anything with tomato sauce, remember to
    wear a black shirt and also have the laundry hamper handy.

    There must be at least a hundred ways to game a system.
    When in doubt, consider that anything can be solved
    given enough time or willingness to break things.
    Which one would you choose?

    That's a minimum of ten items, by the way.
    You can always go to eleven if you want to.

    Do things you enjoy.
    Do things you can.
    Do things.

    A picture can be worth a thousand words. Though sometimes
    one word is "Aww..." and it just gets repeated a thousand times.

    Thanks Bill, Berry, Cait, cats, and Wolfie.
If we do not fear to commit mistakes, if we take the omens
as a warning, as a help to cross that particular day, then
we start to get deeper and deeper into the soul of the world.

-Paulo Coehlo
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Go, PowerCat, go!
    Walking home from work last evening,
    I walked into the wind.

    Walking to work this morning,
    I walked into the wind.

    I feel on the verge of uplift --
    but the wind is always in front,
    and I don't know how to sail.
    Or remember, yet, how to fly.
A man traveling through the darkness
is yet traveling. The disciple is learning
when he does not know that he is learning,
and as a result he may well chafe. In winter,
Rumi reminds him, a tree is collecting nutriment.
People may think that it is idle, because they
do not see anything happening. But in spring
they see the buds. Now, they think, it is working.
There is a time for collecting, and a time for
releasing. This brings the subject back to
the teaching: "Enlightenment must come little
by little—otherwise it would overwhelm."

Idries Shah
    I realize that I am very lucky.
    It is a measure of my own 'success'
    that I have room to look for more.

    Sitting out in the sun to read, it helps.
    And the scent of hyacinths, in the market.
    On the verge of something I feel, I can't see.

    I try to savor today, yet can't help but ask:
    is it tomorrow yet?
Discipline is remembering what you want.
bmindful affirmations
netpositive: (bluebells)
The best lesson you learn today will not be found
in the same old place. You are going to have to move
as far outside your comfort zone as you can stand to go
in order to get the nutritious input that your brain is
hungry for. Experimentation is the key to keeping yourself
sharp right now, so branch out and try out a few new tricks
you have been toying with. Through trial and error,
you will eventually perfect your technique and establish
a whole new best practice.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, 10/24/2007

    Lift one foot. Doesn't even have to go forward.
    Maybe lifting is all you can manage at first.


    I've been wanting out of these rat holes I'm dug into.

    If you don't have a shovel, use your claws.

    I've been waiting on people and places and things.

    Maybe they should be waiting on you instead.

    I judge myself not by what I am, but by what I do.

    That's what makes your not being busy, a real problem.

Someone who's been at the edge of your radar
for a very long time will suddenly move to the
center of your field of vision today. They want
your attention, and they want to inspire you.
If you give them a chance to make their case,
they just might. They are ready to prove to you
that what they have to offer isn't a correction --
it's a suggestion. Getting involved in a new venture
could give you the energy (and ego) boost you have been
looking for, so say 'yes' to a proposal.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, 11/21/2007

    Do imaginary characters count?

    We're just as real as everyone else.

    I started this post a month ago.
    It took a whole week just to go forward.
    Two more weeks to struggle, both inside and out.
    In the end, it took them a week to come back.
    A week. A whole week. Only a week.

    You're good as you are and you know it.
    Sure, support from others sure would be nice.
    Support from yourself, though, is essential.


    Yes, I am competitive -- even in some rather stupid ways.

    Get busy and stay busy a while, girl.
    You've still got a lot on your plate and
    you know there's always more struggle ahead.
    But don't forget to breathe, and to dream,
    and make more time for the rest of us.


    Thanks for the strong support, Tirna na Nog'th.
    Keep those words and images coming.
    I don't want to stop.
netpositive: (firehand)
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life...

-Prince
    Know what you can stand.
    Work on what you have trouble standing.
    Avoid what you can't stand.
    If you can.

    Write it out. Write it down.

If u don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around u
At least u got friends--

    Some things to be grateful for today:
  • Sunshine
  • Blue sky
  • Hard boiled eggs
  • Radishes
  • Tea
  • Vitamins and minerals
  • Sleeping kitties
  • Petting sleeping kitties
  • Helping someone out virtually
  • Clouds
  • Rain
  • A bright yellow rain slicker
  • Backpack with everything in it
  • A body that (mostly) works
  • Quiet local coffee shop (w/electricity, w/out Internet)
  • Iced chai
  • Some work to do
  • An iPod with bright orange skin
  • Some work getting done
  • Sleeping kitties waking up
  • Waking kitties being petted
  • Things to look forward to

Are we gonna let de-elevator
Bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!

    Thank you, Chris Benoit.

    No, not so much for the past few days,
    though I have learned much about you,
    myself, and others during them. ::(
    But thank you for those many years that
    you *were* a good person to other people.

    What happened this past weekend should not
    take those good times away from anyone else.
    It just will make us all the sadder that they,
    and you, are gone for good, and so horribly.

    I don't know what happened to you, Wild Pegasus.
    Maybe no one ever really will know "the truth".
    But I can guess, I can imagine, and I even suspect
    I would understand at least some of it. Not condone;
    but there but for the grace of something, could go I.

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's cuz
We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do)
What's it all 4 (What's it all 4)
U better live now
Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!
netpositive: (frenchy)
That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion

-R.E.M.
    I already knew, but it was also the very first thing
    I heard on the radio as I got into the car.

    Driving home tonight was about as creepy a trip
    as I've ever taken. Lights were all too bright,
    cars were far too close. I had to turn the radio
    down twice, and then completely off.

    It seemed like people were driving worse than usual.
    Then I noticed the 14th Street Bridge goes over water.
    I'm so used to going over it, it seldom registers now,
    but it did tonight. And the disabled cars, with people
    standing so close to traffic doing 50+ mph. And planes
    flying low overhead. And... and...

    And my chest is hurting because I'm still breathing,
    but barely, head and heart both arguing with lungs
    and intestines. Long pauses between short breaths, and
    a painful pit in the bottom of my stomach, telling me:
    "And someday, you know, that will be you. Someday."

    No, it's not me. Not yet. I'm still alive, for now.
    But you never know, do you. Who, what, where, when.

    So often, I don't know how you other people do it.
    How do you live daily with the terror that someday,
    you'll die? Feeling that there is no one standing
    between you and eternity? Worrying there is never
    enough time, and seeing what you've already wasted?
    Knowing that whenever life stops -- then you lose?

    I hate being so afraid of death, what feels like
    all the time. Sometimes I feel like it goes away.
    I go days, weeks, months without dwelling on it.

    And then something happens, to bring it all back.

    Or worse. And yes, this is about me, but it's also
    me thinking about death and anger and grief and loss
    and how you handle it. And me mourning the tragedy of
    someone I met in person for a brief moment years ago,
    but whose work I have admired for over two decades.

    No, I don't want to be just waiting here for death.
    Yes, I do want to live. And I don't want to die.
    But sometimes, I find myself losing the way.
    And so often, I'm so scared.


R.I.P.
Daniel Benoit, 2000-2007
Nancy Daus Benoit, 1964-2007
Chris Benoit, 1967-2007
netpositive: (frenchy)
Right Where You Are Sitting Now
-title of a book by Robert Anton Wilson
    I don't like being told what to do.

    Who do you think you are?

    But if I don't put it on my to do list,
    it may not get done.

    I don't like telling people what I want.

    Does it matter?

    But if I don't say anything, no one can know
    if I want connection.

    I don't like talking about myself.

    What if you find me narrow, or boring?

    What if I tell you too much? Is that worse?


    But if I don't share, what does that say?

    Sunshine in the backyard. How fleeting it is.
    The softness of belly fur on a burrowing nose.
    I now own two necklaces and a jeweled hair clip,
    but I'd trade them all to get my only ring back.
    Music makes me feel better, you can't even imagine.

    And I don't want to be too old to dance. Please.

"Becoming an Inner Environmentalist."

... Visualize your inner environment.
Is it cluttered with the debris of
old pain, impossible expectations, or
devaluing assumptions? Is it polluted
by the stench of resentment, envy, or
self-condemnation? If so, begin to
take out the trash! In your mind's eye,
dispose of unwanted and outdated
emotional rubbish in ways that feel
most freeing to you, even to the point
of tearing down and rebuilding the
entire garage if that seems to be the
right thing to do.

-Sue Patton Thoele
netpositive: (firehand)
Every now and then we manage to take a tiny,
unconscious, clumsy step ever closer to the edge,
stumbling toward ecstasy without really knowing
or understanding that we're doing so.

Mark Morford
    And then again, some of us are trying to do it
    deliberately, through willful spiritual practice...

    Daily reminder: It's okay to be assertive. Really.

    Breathe more. Breathe louder. Breathe all the way.

    Try opening the skylights.

    Thank you, Brian May.
Si non dominaris, inquit, filiola,
iniuriam te accipere existimas?

-the Emperor Tiberius, to Agrippina
netpositive: (firehand)
The wheel never stops turning, Badger.
-Malcolm Reynolds

So? That only matters to people on the rim.
-The Badger
    Ah, but it is out on the rim that
    movement most clearly manifests.

    In partner dancing, the follower moves more.
    Either the lead remains relatively stationary,
    or both partners rotate around a central point.

    Force = mass * acceleration, right?

    For circular motion to occur there must be
    a constant force acting on a body, pushing
    it toward the center of the circular path.
    This is the centripetal (“center-seeking”)
    force. For a planet orbiting the sun, this
    force is gravitational; for an object twirled
    on a string, that force is mechanical; and for
    an electron orbiting an atom, it is electrical.

    If the earth were not spinning, it would have
    permanent light and dark sides like the moon.
    And then where would we be? Sitting still?
    It is the end of the whip that moves fastest.
    "Electricity", "magnetism", "chemistry" are
    used metaphorically as well as literally to
    describe strong interactions between objects -
    or bodies.

    The magnitude F of the centripetal force
    is equal to the mass m of the body times
    its velocity squared v 2 divided by the
    radius r of its path: F=mv2/r.

    Axles turn in very small circles; it is their
    translation into wheels which makes progress.

    For some people, the balance is motionless.
    And from time to time, yes, I need a center.

    But oh, where I fully live
    is right out on the rim.
    Acted on by the forces.
    On the edge, dancing.
Somewhere between the pigeons and the squirrels
I remembered I was alive.

Somewhere between the pavement and the grass
I recollected that it was good to be alive.

And somewhere in that instant between
the touch of your hand on my head and
the touch of your hand near my heart,
I recalled just how good it was.
netpositive: (firehand)
Irrational idea for today:
It is bad or wrong to be selfish.

    Some of the escalators are still broken.
    Yet a third of the window is still uncovered.
    Can't do anything or get anything done right now.
    I can barely remember the mere memory of juice,
    but yet lift my feet - hands - head to seek it out,
    with a blinded nose and near-tasteless mouth.
    Such is my strength, and also my weakness.

Refuting the irrational idea:
    The objective facts: My own needs were ignored.
    Negative self-talk: My needs aren't important.
    Focus on response: Unwanted.
    Dispute and change: What has happened past, has.
    But that doesn't mean it has to continue that way.
    People can be interested in who and what I am.
    Alternative self-talk: I am considerate of others'
    needs as well as my own, for my own well-being.
    text and images behind cut )

Don't put another cup of wine in my hand,
pour it in my mouth.
For I have lost the way to my mouth.

-Rumi
netpositive: (firehand)
Hafiz says,
"That sounds wonderful, just
Wonderful.

Someone please - start writing
Some great
Lines."

-Hafiz
    The broken escalator going up
    takes more energy than
    the one going down.

    The broken escalator going down
    takes more skill than
    the one going up.

    When the escalator breaks,
    use your feet and hands.
    If someone helps you along,
    gratitude is not an evil.
    images and text behind cut )
    Ah, don't ask too much of me, or
    I might actually tell you.

I appear as a steady mountain
Yet bit by bit,
Toward that tiny opening
I am going.

-Rumi
netpositive: (Default)
It's hard to look up when the rain is falling.
-Mrumma proverbGod turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites, so that you
will have two wings to fly with, not one.

-Rumi
netpositive: (firehand)
Inevitably, Cosmic Forces get involved.
You know how it goes.

-Top 10, issue #2
    Personal, positive, present tense.
    Visual, auditory, emotional.

    While walking to the Metro this morning,
    I get a small stone stuck inside my shoe,
    small enough to rattle around while walking.

    With all the construction going on, both housing
    and commercial, there's lots of rubble around.


    This isn't as much a problem during the summer,
    as it's easy enough to knock a stone out of sandals.
    But now it's fall, and I'm wearing my sneakers,
    and it's the 2nd block of a 7-block walk,
    and I'm already running late.

    Don't have time to stop. Fix it when I get to Metro.

    At block 4, there's a traffic light at two major streets.
    Pedestrian crossing is complicated by both having medians,
    the street junction not even being close to perpendicular,
    normal traffic flow dictating left- *and* right-turn arrows,
    and unending construction on the Edmund Fitzgerald building
    image behind cut )
    (aka Clarendon 1021) continually blocking the cattycorner sidewalk.

    Crossing, not quite fast enough, get stranded on the median.

    Well, if I have to stand still for a few seconds anyway...

    Take right shoe off - shake - shake - shake -
    the left turn arrow shuts off -
    quick, have to finish crossing -
    with one stocking foot, shoe in hand.

    And when I put my shoe back on,
    there's a small stone inside it.

    Grr.

    I *think* it was a different stone - felt smaller, lighter,
    less pointy. But still annoying. Still a stone in the shoe.

    Finally shake it out on the upper escalator at the Metro.

    (so if on the way home I find that escalator broken...)

    A lot of one's life is like that. Of course one still has to try
    to overcome the obstacles, and reduce or remove annoyances.
    Struggling at work. Living at home. Or longing for the taste
    of grape juice in a world dominated by apple - orange - lemon.

    But sometimes, one just has to wait, until the right time
    to shake the stone completely, entirely, out of one's shoe.
Time goes, you say? Ah, no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.

-Henry Austin Dobson
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Using the light, being dark,
Being the world,
You perfect harmony
And return to the Way.

-Tao Te Ching, "Becoming"

    I'm feeling more isolated than usual here at work.

    Internal teams and projects have been reorganized.
    And we're about to start a major additional effort
    without what seem to be adequate resources, and
    with what seems to be rather, er, belated planning.

    Even without being paranoid about some "nuances"
    or outcomes of choices being made - or not made -
    I feel uncomfortable with the current direction.

    I don't disagree with the basic concept, but
    I'm worried right now about our ability to execute
    everything well and on time - if we can at all.

    A number of my coworkers are very good people.
    Smart, hard-working, some offbeat senses of humor.
    They have made it bearable to be working in the midst
    of our normal state of blind chaos. But it feels like
    my efforts to help promote visibility or organize chaos
    have not borne any of the fruit I had hoped for yet -
    if they will at all. I know I've gotten a lot of credit
    for trying... but where do I trade in that credit now?

    And as the year fails, I am now looking for some sense of
    finished accomplishments, or of continued progress.

    I keep coming back to this quote that struck a chord,
    from the training sessions I attended last week:

    Automating chaos leads to faster chaos.
    -Dorothy Graham

    Where am I? Where do I go from here? How do I get there?

image behind cut )

I choose to stay grounded, and observe
my situation with compassion and detachment.
netpositive: (Default)
Breathe shallowly into your throat.
Breathe as if the air is sweet.
Breathe quietly.
Breathe in one nostril, out the other.
Breathe in and out.
Breathe out, then in.
Breathe as if the air is earth.
Breathe only through your mouth.
Breathe as if the air is water.
Breathe deeply with your lower diaphragm.
Breathe as if the air is fire.
Breathe slowly through your whole body.
Breathe as if the air is spirit.
Hold your breath.
Breathe as if your lungs are missing.
Breathe up and down.
Breathe as if you are someone else.
Breathe loudly.
Breathe raggedly.
Breathe for me.
Breathe.
Don't forget.
netpositive: (firehand)
Nothing ever goes away until
it has taught us what we need to know.

-Pema Chodron

Just do go ahead.
Another powerful mantra.

-George Dorn
    Is dreaming waking, or
    does it just lead to and from it?

    If I dream of Orange Line breakdowns and
    running on all fours on hot sticky asphalt
    to try to get anywhere; or if I dream of
    my favorite collaborator at work coming
    to me with one more idea/project and I find
    the words, "I can't do it, I'm too busy"
    come easily to my lips - but I wake up; or
    if I dream of The Last Italian as being
    a bit more thoughtful and concerned about me
    than he had usually been in real life, then
    where am I? Who am I? Which way am I going?

    Image behind cut )

    Dear Tir-na Nog'th aka Unconscious,

    Sorry there're so much stuff on (y)our plate(s)
    right now -- the hazards of complex patterns.
    Could you please refrain from sending anything
    more up the down escalator for the time being?
    We're just reflections, not separate storerooms.


    Forever yours in Amber,
    Conscious
The first step in this practice, then,
is to choose to see all of life as a classroom
filled with spiritual lessons. Be a lifelong learner
who walks in humility and with receptivity.

from Practice Teachers
netpositive: (window)
Who looks outside dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.

-Carl Jung
    Is this sympathetic magic?

    Whenever you find something you don't like,
    write it down and throw it into the trash.
    By doing this, you are telling the universe,
    "I want to be done with this problem, please
    help me work through it and be done with it."

    Something to try...
When you arise in the morning, think
of what a precious privilege it is to be alive
- to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

-Marcus Aurelius

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