netpositive: (firehand)
And the truth might be just a little too sour for
You, you don’t, you can’t, you won’t, you will
From the house up on the hill
Where time begs the truth to tell
And the clocks demand that time will run the show
And truth has found that there ain't nowhere to go
But hide among the shadows of the lies, the lies
We told

Bronze Radio Return, "The Truth"
    It's important.

    I'm tired of it not being important.

    I'm sick of being told what I should think
    is important.

    You don't know me. You don't know.
Give the gift of your absence to those
who do not appreciate your presence.

-Marc and Angel Hack Life
    Sometimes I don't realize how hungry or thirsty I am,
    until I have a little meat, until I drink some juice.

    Sometimes I don't know I still am.

    If you knew. If you knew.
If my wings should fail me, Lord,
Please meet me with another pair

Led Zeppelin, "In My Time of Dying"
netpositive: (bloodylane)
Your attitude about yourself is going through
some changes right now, and it's almost like
you are getting to know yourself all over again.
This process of getting comfortable with new aspects
of your personality isn't always the most comfortable
experience, but it is necessary to improving your sense
of confidence. One thing that might help you adjust is
to avoid folks who are always telling you what to do
with your life. You don't need this kind of advice
right now.

-Yahoo horoscope for Leo, 9/12/2012
    Anyone got a Banana Splits decoder ring?

    In other news, I still hate fall.

That's an ooch...
-Fleegle
netpositive: (firehand)
A genuine work of art must mean many things.
The truer its art, the more things it will mean.

-George MacDonald
    This afternoon I stood in the yard in the rain.

    There was earth and stone, cool wind and breath,
    water in drops and blasts and broken sheets.

    And small -- so small - sparks of fire, burning
    like navigational stars in a lost universe.

    And there are still flower petals on the car,
    after the deluge, as the storms move on.

    The divine should not be somewhere out there.
    The divine should be in here.

    Come back to me.
    Or let me go.
    Or find me here, and take me there.
"How should I turn back, with no boat,
here on the edge of the world?"
"This the edge of the world? No, that is
farther on. We may yet come to it."

-Ursula K. LeGuin, _The Farthest Shore_
netpositive: (firehand)
The most beautiful thing we can experience is
the mysterious. It is the source of all true art
and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.

-Albert Einstein

While gaining physical and then psychological self-confidence over time,
I seem to have lost emotional self-confidence along the way.

Sometimes learned behavior still doesn't help.

Please connect me with something.

In and out quick, a cowboy.
-a character in the Illuminatus! trilogy
netpositive: (Default)
A rendered transliteration of the Middle English original.
For those of you not conversant with ME, þ ~= some kind of th.


Sumer is icumen in
Lhude sing cuccu!
Groweþ sed and bloweþ med
and springþ þe wode nu.
Sing cuccu!

Awe bleteþ after lomb,
Lhouþ after calue cu,
Bulluc sterteþ, bucke verteþ.
Murie sing cuccu!
Cuccu, cuccu,
Wel singes þu cuccu.
ne swik þu naver nu!
Sing cuccu nu, Sing cuccu!

    Sing me, sing you, sing cuccu too...

    The world goes swift around
    On an axis that shifts instant;
    Sometimes it seems sound
    that only change is constant.

    Dreams are hard to share
    Being so personal a metaphor;
    For our needs that need care
    Are the why that dreams are for.

    Your time is not anyone else's,
    So allot your hours as you may.
    Call it a virtue to be selfish --
    If that new self meets others halfway.

    Longings deferred be not longings denied,
    Long distances need not estrange --
    A walk on your path can be tried,
    But only my own can I change.

    Groweth sed, and bloweth med,
    and springst the world anew.
    Spring and summer are coming, she said:
    In season, let our own selves come true.

Life is all about timing...
the unreachable becomes reachable,
the unavailable become available,
the unattainable... attainable.
Have the patience, wait it out.
It's all about timing.

-Stacey Charter

Back to work.
netpositive: (firehand)
Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.
-Swedish proverb
    Statement 1: I am comfortable in myself and I value my friends.
    Statement 2: I value my friends and I am comfortable in myself.
    Do you feel any difference?
    Do you feel any different?
    Do you believe any differently?

    I believe there's a difference between a
    pain in the heart and a pain in the neck.

    I believe there's a difference between
    education and a lecture.

    I believe there's a difference between
    honey and vinegar.

    If you don't understand me or
    think I should be different,
    you don't understand me and
    you're right, I am different.

    And you know, if you think me childish, then
    hey, I think I'll run along and play now.
In the sweetness of friendship
let there be laughter, and
sharing of pleasures.

-Kahlil Gibran
netpositive: (firehand)
Behold a man.
Cast in light,
Reflected in darkness.
The mirror of the man.

Behold a woman.
Outlined in light,
Shadowed in darkness.
Is the mirror, the woman?

Whatever the faults, the fears,
shed some tears sadly,
but remember the good.
Whatever the reasons, the rationales,
don't forget your own rights
in trying to right others' wrongs.

Behold a human.
If you really saw me,
that is what you would say.
Would you be right? Would that be right?

Where are you?
netpositive: (firehand)
Heretics of the world, take heart.
There is a place set aside for you
at the table of religion after all.
... for you, O heretics, faith and belief
alone are like painted cakes that cannot
satisfy the hunger and yearning you feel
in your belly and your heart and your soul.

Will Johnson's introduction to
_The Forbidden Poems of Rumi_

    Crescent moon,
    prod me in the back with your tines,
    push me firmly into the daytime,
    then welcome me into your curve
    when I'm done.

    Full moon,
    pour forth all your hoarded silver,
    let me drink your light to bursting
    and beam moonfaced to rival even
    the sun's gold.

    Crescent moon,
    hang me on your hook,
    high -- high -- high above earth, to where
    I can't tell the cities from stars.
    Remove me.

    New moon,
    hide me in your shadow,
    let me weep into your empty seas
    until you take all my tarnished tears.
    Return me.
Composed in tribute to
JoCo's "I'm Your Moon",
JJ's "Fugue 2/Song of Daedalus"
and the upcoming lunar eclipse.
But mostly because Artemis,
when rising from her pool,
longs for her wide wild world full of joy.


Sometimes, the music is all you get.
Try not to hate it for not being dancing...
or go figure out what the right dance would be, already.

-me
netpositive: (firehand)
I understand very well being scared of the future.
Fighter jets and fire engines don't make me feel safer.
Just more scared. But that Rumi, he never said life was safe.
    It's actually very easy to be miserable,
    because nothing is ever going to be perfect
    in an less than perfect world. Be different.
    Do the difficult. Don't add to the misery.

    Be glad when times are good.
    When times are not so good,
    be glad you were so lucky, and
    try to make your own luck again.

    "And smale foweles maken melodye"

    Good memories are doubly precious
    - once in the creating,
    and again in the remembering.
    I wish I had a better memory.

    Life can sure be like an oyster. Hard shell;
    lots of squishy bits whose edibility is much
    a matter of personal taste; irritations; rarely,
    a pearl. So, how do I get this thing open again?

    "That slepen al the nyght with open ye"

    Of course, there's always something profound
    from the Beatles. In this case: "The love you make
    is equal to the love you take."

    "(So priketh hem nature in hir corages)"

    Don't wanna run with the big boys, buy bigger toys.
    Babies or marriage, they ain't the issue here.
    I'm not against either. I just want my own future.
    To write, to dance, to breathe, to float, to fly.
    To be strong, to be comforted, to be, to see. I.

    "Thanne longen folk to go on pilgrimages"

    Because a pilgrim has
    a clear path,
    a destination, and
    a plan to return to grace.
Deadlines and dollar signs
A cup of kindness and I'll be fine
Gonna patch up all those holes and tears you see
Don't worry 'bout me

-Patty Larkin
netpositive: (firehand)
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you're scared.

-Eddie Rickenbacker
    I have spent a lot of energy not being angry.
    I walk, I breathe, I work, I read, I think.
    Or I spend a lot of time fighting my anger.
    I dance, I write, I play, I sigh, I sleep.
    I acknowledge my anger and I want to move on.
    Tired of wasting precious time on the stupid,
    the lame, the halt. Sick of the energy drain.
    The world is so slow, and I am so fast...
    I eat, I drink, I listen. I dream. I hope?

    I know I am a very lucky person. I don't mind
    being an example -- hopefully sometimes a good one --
    but please understand: I am a very lucky person.

    I also believe that one often makes one's own luck.
    That does not negate the previous statement at all.

    And yet sometimes, I wake up afraid. Very afraid.

    Patience, listening, trust. Most important?

    I believe in magic. I do. I believe that the world
    is numinous. Now, if I could just see that more often.

    Even if you're running late, if you want to go, go!
    Because you never know. You just never know.

    Ah, but don't you see: I *am* queen.


    Dear Tir-na Nog'th, aka Unconscious,

    I understand that you think Standard
    Nightmare #2 is so important to repeat
    that you ran it as a mini-series *and*
    a sequel for summer rerun time. I get it.
    I got it. I grok.

    Now could we change the channel for a bit?

    Forever yours in Amber,
    Conscious
Shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
and let me see--

-ELO
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Shucks, folks, I'm speechless.
-Lion
    For those of you whom I haven't had
    much chance to talk to very recently,
    and even for many of those I have:

    As of Nov. 28, 2005, I enter a new world.

    I will be an independent contractor
    in my chosen field of user-centered
    analysis, design, and testing. I have
    a chance to operate as a consultant
    with Human Factors International, and
    I am (fearfully) looking forward to it.

    Thanks to those who listened so much
    when I could talk.
    Thanks to those who asked, "What's up,"
    even when I couldn't say.
    Thanks to those who offered good advice
    or provided bad examples.
    I have a whole lot to catch up on.
    Catch me soon.

    I'd rather be good than lucky -- but
    dreaming doesn't always have to hurt.
    The future is still under construction.
    All I can say is, I'll do my best.
How do you get the first olivepicker out of the bottle?

1. Unscrew the lid.
2. Show her some olives.
3. Wait for her to pick her way out.

-me
netpositive: (iconnerific)
By being receptive, we can avail ourselves
of the spiritual wealth available to us.

By being open, we can receive things
beyond what we ourselves might imagine.
—Deng Ming-Dao in Everyday Tao

To Practice This Thought:
Don't stifle new possibilities because of
your fear, doubt, or closed-mindedness.

from Soul Booster
    The first shoe has dropped.
    The other shoe is dropping --
    or is it just in freefall?

    Yes, I have a little change coming.

    Thank you, Eli Manning.
Even if He bars all the roads and passage-ways,
He will show you a hidden path unknown to all others.

-Rumi
netpositive: (firehand)
Please tell why, do we build castles in the sky,
Oh tell me why, all the castles way up high--

Ian Van Dahl
    Is dreaming just a butterfly, or
    just a sticky grey cocoon we spin and break open?

    If I dream of being in Kansas City, and
    not being able to find the rental car
    that I need to return to the airport
    so that I can get back home --

    (crows and chickadees chattering in the trees
    and one lone goose, laden, honking north)


    if I dream of lying side by side on the grass
    with my favorite collaborator at work, gazing
    up at the stars but knowing now (in hindsight)
    they'll never let us build that ship together --

    (a thousand seagulls clustered cold on a wire T,
    with heavy mists coming in from the south river)


    if I dream of Wodehousian young men in spats,
    dancing in line, twirling gold and silver pocketwatches --

    (the younger cardinal just bounced off a branch
    sending a yellowed maple leaf to the bare ground,
    as the soft eastern rays start to be cut off)


    if I dream of being with my back to the wall --

    (I never got to sit still in the side yard
    all spring or summer long. And this one time
    I'm trying to, well, even here I can't sit for
    an hour without being disturbed by a life
    that I didn't ask for. That isn't mine.)


    I know who the wide-eyed boy at the dance
    with the smile and bright copper hair was.
    And I also have some suspicions of that
    wary would-be mentor with the biker tattoos.

    But why Kansas City?


    Dear Tir-na Nog'th, aka Unconscious,

    Sorry there's so much on (y)our plate(s)
    right now -- hazards of spatial dislocation.
    Could you please tell me the color of the car
    next time? You know I'm looking hard for it.

    Forever yours in Amber,
    Conscious
... the circumstances of your life
reveal who you are, not
what has happened to you.

Circumstances do not make you
unless you think yourself down to them.

Iyanla Vanzant
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Look at your own circumstances. Ask yourself
if there is an unimagined source of strength
that you can tap into. Look toward the future.
Imagine a time in which you have widened
a place for yourself and have flourished
through your difficulties.

Daily Om
    I'm trying to breathe.
    I'm trying to breathe.
    I'm trying to breathe.

    I know I'm needed, I know I'm useful.
    But am I valued? Time is telling.
    It takes so many people to be me.
    I want to work and play. Help me.

    I've been trying to look up again.
    Sometimes I see the sun.
    Sometimes I see the moon.
    Sometimes I see the ceiling.
    At least I can still open my eyes.

    I'm trying to breathe. Where is the air?
Some people get crazy,
some people get lazy,
some people get hazy,
some people get out--

Joe Jackson
netpositive: (iconnerific)
    My best girl friend from college is dead.

    I remember us laughing at the X-rated movie nights
    run then by UMBC Student Government, because in
    those days the Maryland Censor Board was still in
    operation and their idea of X-rated would barely
    raise an eyebrow at 8 PM today, much less midnight.

    I remember the night I held her while she cried
    her heart out, because the jerk who was using her,
    had dumped her. [And how horrible I felt because
    I'd predicted it would happen, almost to the exact
    hour.] How angry I was that she went back with him
    later on and let him take advantage of her some more.
    I never hid my feelings about _him_ if she asked, but
    if it made her happy, then I tried to support _her_.

    I remember her: flirting, smoking, playing bridge,
    wearing skirts, and managing (most) other people well.

    I tried to tell her many things. I know I didn't always
    make sense to her (and I didn't always make sense to me,
    especially back in those days) but again, she was loyal.

    I was there when they broke up again, for good, and I
    tried to let her know how worthwhile she was in herself.

    I was maid of honor at her first wedding, to someone
    I'd once lived with for 4 years, and still cared for.
    I was so glad they had "found" each other at last.
    I thought they would be good together... and for a
    time, I think they were. But we all have our flaws,
    and under too much pressure lives may change shape.
    Sometimes they turn into something new and better.
    But sometimes they just turn, like curdling milk.

    We lost touch after the divorce. Different people,
    different lives - so often we'd had little in common
    but memories, and loyalty. I worried that I would
    remind her too much of a past she finally needed to
    cut herself free from. I felt I had nothing more I
    could give her - nothing I hadn't already given her
    when we were different people, in different lives.

    Apparently, she had just recently remarried. :(

    Oh Sandy, I'm sorry this had to happen to you now.
    You were such a smart and talented woman. I always
    felt you deserved more and better out of life than
    sometimes you got.

    Including, maybe, your best friend from college.
netpositive: (firehand)
Irrational idea for today:
It is bad or wrong to be selfish.

    Some of the escalators are still broken.
    Yet a third of the window is still uncovered.
    Can't do anything or get anything done right now.
    I can barely remember the mere memory of juice,
    but yet lift my feet - hands - head to seek it out,
    with a blinded nose and near-tasteless mouth.
    Such is my strength, and also my weakness.

Refuting the irrational idea:
    The objective facts: My own needs were ignored.
    Negative self-talk: My needs aren't important.
    Focus on response: Unwanted.
    Dispute and change: What has happened past, has.
    But that doesn't mean it has to continue that way.
    People can be interested in who and what I am.
    Alternative self-talk: I am considerate of others'
    needs as well as my own, for my own well-being.
    text and images behind cut )

Don't put another cup of wine in my hand,
pour it in my mouth.
For I have lost the way to my mouth.

-Rumi
netpositive: (firehand)
Irrational idea for today:
people are fragile and should never be hurt.
    Some of the escalators are still broken.
    Half the window is blocked.
    No juice.

    Write down the facts.
    Write down your subjective self-talk.
    Describe your emotional response.
    Dispute and change irrational self-talk.
    Substitute alternative, rational self-talk.

    Notice your thoughts and feelings,
    acknowledge them non-judgementally,
    and let them go.

    Okay. I'm going dancing now.
Refuting the irrational idea:

This irrational belief results in failure
to openly communicate important feelings, and
in self-sacrifice that gives up what is
nourishing and pleasurable. Since everything
you need or want seems to hurt or deprive someone
else, you feel frustration, helplessness, and
depression. Relationships become full of dead
space where conflicts developed and nothing
was said.

from _The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook_
netpositive: (iconnerific)
The coincidence of a vague physical resemblance
followed by an accidental but absolute audio replica
brings up a vibrant ghost from the past...
    Sometimes,
    I close my eyes,
    and I just hear your voice.

    Frightening,
    the power of sound,
    after all this time apart.

    I could never explain to others
    how so many of your questions got answers,
    how the simplest of words complicated everything.

    Repeating
    the vowels in your last name,
    I know nothing has changed except the calendar.

    Pain may drain away.
    But anger - and hunger - stay.

    I paid.
    Still, I do regret
    not always doing right by you.

    Sometimes,
    I close my eyes,
    and I just hear your voice.

    Every night,
    I close my eyes.
netpositive: (firehand)
We either make ourselves miserable
or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.

Don Juan Matus
    Ah, I must have a very full life,
    if adding just a little bit more
    makes it overflow so.

    New wave and heavy metal.
    Tae Kwon Do and lindy hop.
    Social work and reading alone.
    Design and testing.
    Housecats and cheetahs.
    Regency romances, Civil War history,
    all the science fiction I can stomach,
    and all the fantasy I can stand.

    more text and some images behind cut )

    "Well... he tends to promise the moon,
    but then too often he tries to deliver
    a medium-sized asteroid instead."
    -me

    If I'd only had a spoon, I could have turned
    that sweet corn cake upside down, for you.
    But there is no spoon, yet.

You are the Sun in drag.
You are God hiding from yourself.

-Hafiz
netpositive: (firehand)
I remembered Bogie telling Judy [Garland],
when she'd sit in the living room saying
she had more goddamn talent than anyone
in town, 'Talent's no good in a living room,
you've got to get out there and do it.'

-Lauren Bacall
    Being a shy and very introverted person who
    has difficulty connecting with people, I've recently
    been using a couple books for suggestions on
    how to cope with requisite social situations:

  • _The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an
    Extrovert World_, by Marti Olsen Laney.


  • _Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money?
    Networking Made Easy for the Introvert_, by
    Frederica J. Balzano and Marsha Boone Kelly.

  • Having a wooden leg doesn't mean one can't walk, y'know.
If you continue to say "I can't,"
"I don't know how," "They won't let me,"
you won't, you don't, they won't,
and it will never get done.

-Iyanla Vanzant
    To notice how loud the world is,
    cover it with snow for a day.

    You are more than the sum of your parts.
    But that doesn't mean you can't increase
    your sum by improving one of your parts.

    Try to consciously rid yourself of at least
    ten things every day. You'll be amazed at
    both how much you get rid of and how much
    you have left.

    You might want to express your thanks when
    people do nice things for you. Or they might
    stop.
You may be disappointed if you fail,
but you are doomed if you don't try.

-Beverly Sills

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