netpositive: (Default)
The year, the year, the year gets dark.

Soundless fury, toneless fear, blackness so stark
closing your eyes against it only makes it brighter.

Everything counsels patience, waiting, slowness.
If I sit any more still I will go backwards.

If you had a clue what I think -
If you ever asked how I felt -
If it wasn't all about you -
Maybe there would be me.

Instead, every day is a new misadventure.
I don't tell you anything, I keep myself
in the cage that keeps you safe from me.
netpositive: (bloodylane)
Miles looked up at his father. "Did... I do
the right thing, sir? Last night?"

"Yes," said the count simply. "A right thing.
Perhaps not the best of all possible right things.
Three days from now you may think of a clever tactic,
but you were my man on the ground at the time. I try
not to second-guess my field commanders."

Miles' heart rose in his aching chest for the
first time since he'd left Kyril Island.

Miles and Aral Vorkosigan, _The Vor Game_
    I've reached out to other people.
    Now I need to reach myself.

    If I've seen or talked to you recently,
    know that I cared enough to do that,
    and that you do matter to me. But
    there needs to be a right me
    for you to matter to.

    I said something I needed to you,
    and the world did not end.
    Thank you for listening.
    Thank you for touching me.
Take a moment to remember WHY creating something
fills your soul or spirit.

-Marianne Mullen

    The entire point of dreams filled with trivia is:
    Hey! Your dreams are filled with trivia.
    Either wake up, or get new dreams.
It's not the writing part that's hard.
It's sitting down to write.

Stephen Pressfield, _The War of Art_
netpositive: (firehand)
And the truth might be just a little too sour for
You, you don’t, you can’t, you won’t, you will
From the house up on the hill
Where time begs the truth to tell
And the clocks demand that time will run the show
And truth has found that there ain't nowhere to go
But hide among the shadows of the lies, the lies
We told

Bronze Radio Return, "The Truth"
    It's important.

    I'm tired of it not being important.

    I'm sick of being told what I should think
    is important.

    You don't know me. You don't know.
Give the gift of your absence to those
who do not appreciate your presence.

-Marc and Angel Hack Life
    Sometimes I don't realize how hungry or thirsty I am,
    until I have a little meat, until I drink some juice.

    Sometimes I don't know I still am.

    If you knew. If you knew.
If my wings should fail me, Lord,
Please meet me with another pair

Led Zeppelin, "In My Time of Dying"
netpositive: (firehand)
1. Go exploring. Explore ideas, places, and opinions.
The inside of the echo chamber is where all the
boring people hang out.

-Jessica Nagy, "How to be More Interesting (in 10 Simple Steps)"
    I hate midwinter.

    Everyone who knows me, knows I hate midwinter.

    Gonna put one foot in front of the other
    until spring.

    Going slowly, maybe.

    But going.
You know, I keep dreaming of other people.
I want to be in my dreams once in a while.

-me, to myself, this morning
    And yet... I'm close to the divine.
    I can feel it. I have seen it. Touched it, even.

    I hear you calling.
    Please let me hear what you are saying.

10. Ignore the scolds. Boring is safe,
and you will be told to behave yourself.
The scolds could have, would have, should have.
But they didn’t.

-Jessica Nagy, again
netpositive: (iconnerific)
I want to fly...
-Ofra Haza
    I'm not good with change, but it does happen.
    This year is likely to be more stressful and busy
    than usual, so I'm being proactive where I can be.

    Posted notice: I will still be reading LiveJournal,
    but will be cross-posting from Dreamwidth. All of my
    previous entries are backed up there. Just in case.

    Thank you all for being there. Wherever there is.
Fear of something bad happening in the future
is one of the things that makes us human....

-Leo Babauta
netpositive: (Default)
He says the best way out is always through.
And I agree to that, or in so far
As that I can see no way out but through --
Leastways for me -- and then they’ll be convinced.

-Robert Frost, "A Servant of Servants"
    I see so many people struggling.
    I hear so many people hurting.
    The strong get torn down;
    the weak get torn up.
    How can I make this world less dark?
    You tell me, and then we'll both know
    how to reach out in a lack of light
    and touch without shocking each other.

    (Unless we both need the electricity.
    Then please, oh please, let the juice run.)

    I've seen the divine. Quite recently in fact.
    But I don't see how to get there from here.
    So far. So far.

    Yet the future keeps right on coming.
I ’spose I’ve got to go the road I’m going:
Other folks have to, and why shouldn’t I?

-Robert Frost
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Everytime that you make me smile
it's the same old way it used to be
And that's enough for me

-Fleetwood Mac
    I do not object to making sausage, eating spaghetti, and
    batting clean up. But doing all three at once? A bit much.

    I am grateful for any help and understanding I receive.

    So far, so far, so far.
Keep walking
Though there's no place to get to.
Don't try to see through the distances.
That's not for human beings.
Move within
but don't move
The way that fear makes you move.

Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)
    I want to go where nobody knows my name.
    I want to go a long way.
    I want to go.

    Please let me go.
Everytime that sleep don't come
it's the same old pain it used to be
And that's enough for me
netpositive: (Default)

I realized then that I who thought I had complete control
of my life, had control of only three things: my thought, my mind –
the images that these thoughts created – and the action that derived
from it. So here I was wallowing in a vortex of emotions and depression
and what have you, with the enormity of the situation, wanting to go to
a place of healing, health and happiness. I wanted to go from where I was
to where I wanted to be, for which I needed something. I needed something
that would pull me out of all this. So I dried my tears, and I declared to
the world at large... I said, "X is only one page in my life, and I will not
allow this page to impact the rest of my life."

I also declared to the world at large that I would ride it out, and
I would not allow X to ride me. But to go from where I was to where I
wanted to be, I needed something. I needed an anchor, an image, a peg
to peg this process on, so that I could go from there. And I found that
in my dance, my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion, my very life breath.


-Ananda Shankar Jayant, TED video
    Feet? Check. Hands? Check. Brain? Check.

    Will the real me please stand up? Oh, there you are...

    I think. But I feel the Big Cat Blues.

Imagine a lion walking around affirming – I’m king of the jungle,
I’m king of the jungle. And yet this is exactly what people are doing
with positive affirmations most of the time. The lion’s very nature is
that it is a lion. Being king of the jungle is mostly an idea.

Fortunately lions are not as confused as human beings. Lions mostly
walk around being lions without suffering from being disconnected from
themselves and having a bunch of ideas about who or what they should be.

The most affirming experience we humans can have is to land in
our true nature. A moment of perceiving the real is more powerful
than a lifetime of words. Well intentioned, but misguided efforts
at positive affirmations would be better spent in learning how to
settle down and allow what is truly real in us arise into consciousness.

The world is abundant. Life is on our side. We are awesome and wonderful.
It’s the true state of affairs. If we can’t see it, then the more productive
course of action is to explore – why not. Trying to convince ourselves that
the sky is blue when, in fact, the sky is blue – is crazy behavior.

As the saying goes – the only way out is through. Explore the deficiencies,
the hidden beliefs. Open them up to the light of awareness. The truth will
set us free. The false dissolves. Only the real remains.


John, in Open Secrets
    Do you ride the lion, or does it ride you?

    I need more words, more music, more dance, my voice.

    I want to go to the end of my world -- my jungle.

    I would like to walk around being a lion, and
    not worrying about being king or not.

    I intend to stretch.
netpositive: (Default)
Poor little dreamer
Stand inside the door
You can't find the easy rhymes
Of times you had before--

-Heart, "Cry to Me"

Danced with the right people last night
at contra, even the ones I didn't know.
The ones I did? Thank you -- bless you.
    I dreamed last night I was the last
    passenger on a jet plane with 16 cabins
    which varied wildly in accommodation.

    Fourteen passengers were already on board.
    split evenly between friends and allies
    and so there were only two cabins left
    for me to choose from.

    One was the smallest, just a white closet.

    The other was the largest, with controls,
    monitors, and a VHS deck containing a tape
    labeled "Safety Procedures for This Flight".

    Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious.
    And sometimes, just a hard slap in the face.

The glass is empty and the wine
Is bitter on your tongue
People don't seen wild and fine
Like when you were young--


In other news, I forgot how warm snowboard socks are.
But how I hate cold and dark months ending in -ember?
That part, full well I remember.

But I also remembered to take my vitamins this morning.

Dancing encourages hyperventilation, increases the
production of adrenaline, and causes a sharp decrease in
levels of blood glucose. These physiological responses
stimulate the brain to release endorphins...

-Barbara Tedlock, _The Woman in the Shaman's Body_
netpositive: (Default)
    I dreamed last night that my first solo flight
    in a helicopter was to a town in North Carolina.
    Three important people were my passengers.

    From there, I found I needed a (new?) map
    to go on.

    Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious.
    And sometimes, just a mirror.
netpositive: (Default)
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

-Lyle Lovett
    When I was a child, I read Thor Heyerdahl.
    So I've been in sacred caves on Easter Island.

    When I was a child, I read Joy Adamson.
    So I've been to the savanna and run wild.

    When I was a child, I read J.R.R. Tolkien.
    So I've been to Middle Earth and met Ents.

    I'm not bad at traveling once I get going.
    But I never really understand it
    until I get there.

    If then.

    I want to go to the place where I want to be.

    You know where that is?

    I don't.
It is not down in any map; true places never are.
-Herman Melville
netpositive: (Default)
[Part of this was originally posted private on 9/30/2008.
Updated 12/1/2009 as closure for Black November 2009.]


The message for me in what you've said is that
ACTION is always better than inaction, a lesson that
for some reason I have had to relearn again and again.

It goes like this: You must take a step in the direction
that you think is right, because you will otherwise never
know what that step might reveal. Whether that step reveals
the error in your thinking, the missing enabler, the proof
you've sought, the beauty or ugliness you never imagined,
the nature of resistance, or nothing particularly meaningful,
it is worth the effort to pull back the curtain, because
it will expand your knowledge and guide you.

Linda from Deerfield
    Step, step, step.

    If your foot lands in mud, pull it up, shake it off.
    Go on.

    If your other foot lands in shit, pull it up, shake it off.
    Go on.
Take the first step in faith.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase,
just take the first step.

–Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
netpositive: (firehand)
... circumstances indicate that the path
to your destination twists and turns in a
bewildering way. Your insight, however,
can penetrate and make sense of confusion.

-definition, juxtaposition from Tarot.com
    Go to the bathroom first.
    Then drink deep from your mystical cup.
    Pry your ghost loose from its shell,
    and find a right space for your words.

    Point out the middle path, and
    reconcile the polarities. Bring
    creativity and flexibility to
    the way you go about your way
    in the world. Move slowly and
    deliberately if change is required.

    Don't be too proud to ask for someone's
    help. Sometimes you do get it.

    What kinds of negative messages,
    self-doubt or paranoid fantasies
    descend upon you from time to time?
    Don't let them undermine your ability
    to be who you are and to contribute.
    Examine them and give them each a name,
    and identify them as separate from you
    (imagining them as little demons can help).
    This will increase your dominion over them.

    Turn the page. Write the next line.
    Take my foot off the brake already!

    A path is traversed one step at a time.
    A navigator can help you find the way.
    Is it a lantern, or only an hourglass?

    Simon says: take a baby step, baby.
Why must we dream in metaphors?
Try to hold on to something we couldn't understand.

Seal
netpositive: (Default)
Where's your head at?
Where's your head at?

Basement Jaxx
    Is it fair to make this post just after midnight?

    In a new month, to boot?

    Yesterday: felt like the first time I've breathed
    for days. I still had moments of anger and wasn't
    being productive, but I cleaned out some stuff.

    - walk outside
    - see the sun
    - mail a box
    - have chai
    - get more radishes
    - return all library books
    - drop off recycling
    - listen to music
    - work on stretching my mind
    - share some time
    - stay warm
    - be sadly amused
    - remember "I could have told you that at Cardosa"
    - plan for future organizing
    - continue research

    Today:
    - go to sleep.
Your first draft of any piece of work is "mud" ---
raw material.... If the first draft's awful, great!
It's meant to be. It's only raw material. However,
if you don't create the first draft, or you wait
until you have a really great idea that's worth a
first draft, you won't write anything. Write. Make mud.

-Angela Booth
netpositive: (sato)
Irrational idea for today:
Get angry at yourself for all those things not done,
and just give up. Why bother? Who cares, really?

    Write down the facts.

    Down time. Dead time. Resentment. Resistance.
    Have not been as productive at work recently.
    Didn't write words three of the last five days.
    Forgot to use two coupons to save on books.
    Have done zero shopping for the holidays yet,
    and have no idea what to get anyone, either.
    Spent a week waiting on someone to call me back
    about something important, albeit not urgent.
    Skipped possible dancing opportunities twice.
    Can't focus on anything to look forward to.
    Connected with the divine all Wednesday night --
    but connected with nothing since then.

    Write down your subjective self-talk.

    "You'll never accomplish what you want to.
    You're going nowhere right now and that will
    never ever change. Everything before this was
    just a lie, to get your hopes up. You're not
    paying attention to anything or anyone important
    and you are unable to change your bad patterns.
    Look at your inconsistent control of your diet.
    Think of all the things you haven't done by now.
    You hate the 'holiday season'/this time of year,
    and you resist any encouragement or insistence
    from others to be happy, or participate in it;
    it is unnatural not to enjoy this, and you have
    no right to be/feel so different from others."

    Describe your emotional response.

    I feel like I'm not who or what I think I am,
    and that's frustrating after a too short period
    of feeling better and more "me" than usual. I feel
    like I must not really have the self-discipline
    or abilities I envision myself as having, and so
    I'm a terrible being - a waste of time and space.

    I also hate having my schedule/routine disrupted;
    and Thanksgiving through New Year's is a time
    every year when that happens to me.

    I also really hate being told by others that I
    "have to", "should" or "must" do certain things --
    even if I agree and believe in them, or not.

    And then I hate myself for not being thoughtful
    of others, and for not sharing their happiness.

    I have become so afraid to look forward to the
    future for fear of disappointment. I'm afraid
    to try to change things -- even broken ones --
    for fear of renewed, or different, failure.

    Then I'm mad at myself for not even living up to
    my own expectations - for not finding hope in
    things - for not going forward all the time.

    Dispute and change irrational self-talk.

    I don't normally regret for long things, esp
    minor ones, which I have not done once they are
    past. Also, I am usually good about discharging
    my obligations without undue resentment. I must
    be feeling a lot of extra performance pressure
    imposed on me by myself and perhaps (knowingly
    or otherwise) by others. Part of this may be my
    (mis)perception of others' expectations of me...

    I know this time of year is always very difficult
    for me, when it gets dark and cold and my routine
    is thrown off, and I don't feel like celebrating.

    I also know I am often afraid of change because
    I don't know what will happen afterwards --
    and I may not be in control of what does.

    This is all conflicting with my desire that
    *this year*, "things will be different":
    because I have things I really want to do
    and relationships that I want to maintain,
    or improve, despite my feeling lethargic and
    disconnected, and overwhelmed by pressure.

    Substitute alternative, rational self-talk.

    You've run into a whole bunch of roadblocks!
    Let's take them one at a time out of that wall.

    You do good work, and that will continue.
    However, you would like periodic feedback
    from others that you are helpful and useful.
    At present, you're not getting much of that.
    But you will have your annual review soon and
    that should tell you where you stand and what
    you can do to improve yourself or help others.

    You did write, two days out of five. Both days
    you did extra beyond your (self-imposed) goal.
    Two of those other days you did some research
    that you've recorded in your notes to support
    your upcoming work. Plus you should have some
    help with your research as you get organized
    and know what -- or who -- to ask for.

    More books? You have plenty to go through yet!
    There will be other chances -- and coupons --
    whenever you finally need more reference works.

    As for your unhappiness about holiday shopping,
    this is a manifestation of your fears about money,
    uncertainty, and simple lack of time, as well as
    frustration with insistent insanity in spite of
    both negative and positive reality checks. However,
    you generally shop for others via wish lists and
    gift cards. You also try to help others who need it,
    via charity donation requests or invisible acts of
    kindness. It all happens, at an appropriate level,
    in a way that works for both you and the recipients.

    You did collect needed contact and resources
    information, so that you can now proceed with
    settling something you've procrastinated about.
    You are taking steps to take care of yourself in
    smaller and larger ways; however, there will be
    moments when you fall down, for whatever reason.
    Blaming yourself never helps get you back up.

    You have celebrated, and will celebrate, with
    someone important to you; even if you do feel
    fear of the implicit acknowledgment that time
    passes, you can still be grateful for all the
    time that is, and all your presences in it.

    In addition, you are back in touch with people
    both close and far away from you, and you have
    another chance to let them know what they mean
    to you. You can do things you want to. It's ok
    to balance that with what others want you to do.

    Remember: a phone is simply a tool. Use it.

    Notice your thoughts and feelings,
    acknowledge them non-judgementally,
    and let them go.


    I feel these things. They may or may not be
    rational, but I do not discount that I feel.

    Refuting the irrational idea:

    Look back. It was not a lie; it is your path.
    Look down. Those are your feet, standing still.
    Look forward. There is your chance to take steps.
    Look up. Remember standing in a concrete courtyard
    a few nights back, all those lights shining upwards
    and one star looking down through reflected glory?

    You haven't left the universe, any more than it's
    left you. It finds you even in this. The universe
    has a weird sense of humor, you see, by making you
    go through ecstacy just to get to the laundry.

    Fear of failure is understandable, especially when
    you have been used to success. But the worst that
    can happen could still be for the best if it frees
    you from further fear of failure. So why not try?

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't,
I give myself reasons why I can.

-anonymous
    Tactics:

    Listen to any music that helps right now.
    Skip the rest until sumer is icumen in.

    If there's blockage in the way, you have always
    found my own unique way to get past it. Use your
    innate resistance, rather than feeling used by it.
    They say you can't, or you shouldn't? Say: "I can.
    I will. I must. And no, I won't let you stop me."
    Aikido your critics with their own negative energy.

    Continue to get rid of ten things a day
    to make room for the ten thousand things.
    Then you will have what matters most to you.

    Breathe.
    Breathe once just to go in and out.
    Breathe twice, to reestablish the pattern.
    Breathe threefold -- for those who were,
    for those who are, and for that which will be.
    Then keep on breathing, however you do it.

    Continue to celebrate even the smallest things.
    If you don't share another's joy at this time,
    don't disrespect it. Find it in your own terms.
    If only the fact that the year, and the wheel,
    will continue to turn -- that spring will come.

    Listen to others -- but find your own voice.

If you hear a voice within you say
'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint,
and that voice will be silenced.

-Vincent Van Gogh
netpositive: (bluebells)
The best lesson you learn today will not be found
in the same old place. You are going to have to move
as far outside your comfort zone as you can stand to go
in order to get the nutritious input that your brain is
hungry for. Experimentation is the key to keeping yourself
sharp right now, so branch out and try out a few new tricks
you have been toying with. Through trial and error,
you will eventually perfect your technique and establish
a whole new best practice.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, 10/24/2007

    Lift one foot. Doesn't even have to go forward.
    Maybe lifting is all you can manage at first.


    I've been wanting out of these rat holes I'm dug into.

    If you don't have a shovel, use your claws.

    I've been waiting on people and places and things.

    Maybe they should be waiting on you instead.

    I judge myself not by what I am, but by what I do.

    That's what makes your not being busy, a real problem.

Someone who's been at the edge of your radar
for a very long time will suddenly move to the
center of your field of vision today. They want
your attention, and they want to inspire you.
If you give them a chance to make their case,
they just might. They are ready to prove to you
that what they have to offer isn't a correction --
it's a suggestion. Getting involved in a new venture
could give you the energy (and ego) boost you have been
looking for, so say 'yes' to a proposal.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, 11/21/2007

    Do imaginary characters count?

    We're just as real as everyone else.

    I started this post a month ago.
    It took a whole week just to go forward.
    Two more weeks to struggle, both inside and out.
    In the end, it took them a week to come back.
    A week. A whole week. Only a week.

    You're good as you are and you know it.
    Sure, support from others sure would be nice.
    Support from yourself, though, is essential.


    Yes, I am competitive -- even in some rather stupid ways.

    Get busy and stay busy a while, girl.
    You've still got a lot on your plate and
    you know there's always more struggle ahead.
    But don't forget to breathe, and to dream,
    and make more time for the rest of us.


    Thanks for the strong support, Tirna na Nog'th.
    Keep those words and images coming.
    I don't want to stop.
netpositive: (firehand)
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life...

-Prince
    Know what you can stand.
    Work on what you have trouble standing.
    Avoid what you can't stand.
    If you can.

    Write it out. Write it down.

If u don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around u
At least u got friends--

    Some things to be grateful for today:
  • Sunshine
  • Blue sky
  • Hard boiled eggs
  • Radishes
  • Tea
  • Vitamins and minerals
  • Sleeping kitties
  • Petting sleeping kitties
  • Helping someone out virtually
  • Clouds
  • Rain
  • A bright yellow rain slicker
  • Backpack with everything in it
  • A body that (mostly) works
  • Quiet local coffee shop (w/electricity, w/out Internet)
  • Iced chai
  • Some work to do
  • An iPod with bright orange skin
  • Some work getting done
  • Sleeping kitties waking up
  • Waking kitties being petted
  • Things to look forward to

Are we gonna let de-elevator
Bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!

    Thank you, Chris Benoit.

    No, not so much for the past few days,
    though I have learned much about you,
    myself, and others during them. ::(
    But thank you for those many years that
    you *were* a good person to other people.

    What happened this past weekend should not
    take those good times away from anyone else.
    It just will make us all the sadder that they,
    and you, are gone for good, and so horribly.

    I don't know what happened to you, Wild Pegasus.
    Maybe no one ever really will know "the truth".
    But I can guess, I can imagine, and I even suspect
    I would understand at least some of it. Not condone;
    but there but for the grace of something, could go I.

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's cuz
We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do)
What's it all 4 (What's it all 4)
U better live now
Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!
netpositive: (frenchy)
That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion

-R.E.M.
    I already knew, but it was also the very first thing
    I heard on the radio as I got into the car.

    Driving home tonight was about as creepy a trip
    as I've ever taken. Lights were all too bright,
    cars were far too close. I had to turn the radio
    down twice, and then completely off.

    It seemed like people were driving worse than usual.
    Then I noticed the 14th Street Bridge goes over water.
    I'm so used to going over it, it seldom registers now,
    but it did tonight. And the disabled cars, with people
    standing so close to traffic doing 50+ mph. And planes
    flying low overhead. And... and...

    And my chest is hurting because I'm still breathing,
    but barely, head and heart both arguing with lungs
    and intestines. Long pauses between short breaths, and
    a painful pit in the bottom of my stomach, telling me:
    "And someday, you know, that will be you. Someday."

    No, it's not me. Not yet. I'm still alive, for now.
    But you never know, do you. Who, what, where, when.

    So often, I don't know how you other people do it.
    How do you live daily with the terror that someday,
    you'll die? Feeling that there is no one standing
    between you and eternity? Worrying there is never
    enough time, and seeing what you've already wasted?
    Knowing that whenever life stops -- then you lose?

    I hate being so afraid of death, what feels like
    all the time. Sometimes I feel like it goes away.
    I go days, weeks, months without dwelling on it.

    And then something happens, to bring it all back.

    Or worse. And yes, this is about me, but it's also
    me thinking about death and anger and grief and loss
    and how you handle it. And me mourning the tragedy of
    someone I met in person for a brief moment years ago,
    but whose work I have admired for over two decades.

    No, I don't want to be just waiting here for death.
    Yes, I do want to live. And I don't want to die.
    But sometimes, I find myself losing the way.
    And so often, I'm so scared.


R.I.P.
Daniel Benoit, 2000-2007
Nancy Daus Benoit, 1964-2007
Chris Benoit, 1967-2007
netpositive: (Default)
I'm trying to live a quiet, peaceful life
and stay out of trouble, and all it is, is
one thing after another.

Venus Ram[s]ey, Miss America 1944

(Thanks to technoshaman for the link.)
    I hope, I hope, I hope -- but
    I still don't know what to hope for.
    I just try to look forward. To tomorrow,
    or to this evening, or to this afternoon.
    Because I find if I don't look forward,
    I can't *go* forward.

    How do I reconcile that with being in this moment?

    Especially if it's a moment I don't want to be in.

    This is a great time to take another look
    at a person who tends to really annoy you.
    He or she has viewpoints that you have
    a hard time relating to -- but some of
    these opinions deserve your attention.
    Your disagreements about important issues
    may contain valuable lessons for you.
    If you can get past your emotional reactions,
    you might even find yourself changing your mind.
    This is all part of the process of learning
    how to think more objectively.

    -Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, May 1, 2007

    No, somehow, I don't think I'm going to become her.
    I'll stay my savage, secret selves, if you please,
    safely inside my soft shell made of ruby and crystal,
    the lost girl running in and out of time,
    the student with the deep-wrinkled forehead,
    the cat with the inconvenient soul.

    Look hard and you might see something.
    Try hard and you might actually do something.
    Or, you can just wait around for decay and death.
    Your choice. Not mine. Go on.
But the things that you see
ain't necessarily the things you can find...

Joe Jackson

Courage (4)

Nov. 4th, 2006 02:54 pm
netpositive: (firehand)
We gonna to do what they say can't be done
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there

Jerry Reed, "East Bound and Down"
    At 44, it's frustrating to feel like I'm on
    the bottom rung of a ladder. But then look at
    all the other ladders I climbed just to get here.

    Measure twice, cut once.

    I worry too much about what is possible, and
    not enough about what I want to (make) happen.

    Dream first, budget second.

    I keep trying to account for all my time. And
    I keep looking at how much others accomplish in
    the same period of time, and then I feel inferior.
It's sobering to realize, for example, that when
Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

-Tom Lehrer, age 37
    But I am not anyone else. I have my own priorities.
    I have my own needs, wants, desires, responsibilities.
    Sure, I may be a bit of an ant. But I'm a damn good ant.

    Plan first. Execute second. Adjust all along.

    I could have been dead 3 times over by age 23.
    Maybe I don't know the reason, maybe I never will,
    but I'm still here. As long as I am, I do what I can.
It takes a lot of time to learn something new,
so don't be impatient with yourself right now.
Each time you uncover a new aspect of your current challenge,
you will also uncover a new obstacle. This is disheartening,
but it's also very normal. Just keep going and keep learning!
It'll all start to come together soon. You're on your own schedule,
so don't compare your progress with someone else's progress.
Just stay focused on what you need to do.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, Nov. 3, 2006

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