netpositive: (firehand)
A genuine work of art must mean many things.
The truer its art, the more things it will mean.

-George MacDonald
    This afternoon I stood in the yard in the rain.

    There was earth and stone, cool wind and breath,
    water in drops and blasts and broken sheets.

    And small -- so small - sparks of fire, burning
    like navigational stars in a lost universe.

    And there are still flower petals on the car,
    after the deluge, as the storms move on.

    The divine should not be somewhere out there.
    The divine should be in here.

    Come back to me.
    Or let me go.
    Or find me here, and take me there.
"How should I turn back, with no boat,
here on the edge of the world?"
"This the edge of the world? No, that is
farther on. We may yet come to it."

-Ursula K. LeGuin, _The Farthest Shore_
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Everytime that you make me smile
it's the same old way it used to be
And that's enough for me

-Fleetwood Mac
    I do not object to making sausage, eating spaghetti, and
    batting clean up. But doing all three at once? A bit much.

    I am grateful for any help and understanding I receive.

    So far, so far, so far.
Keep walking
Though there's no place to get to.
Don't try to see through the distances.
That's not for human beings.
Move within
but don't move
The way that fear makes you move.

Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)
    I want to go where nobody knows my name.
    I want to go a long way.
    I want to go.

    Please let me go.
Everytime that sleep don't come
it's the same old pain it used to be
And that's enough for me
netpositive: (firehand)
Don't know where I am.
Only matters where I've been and
How I'm going on.

-me, on the road this morning
    Have been pondering "communities vs. individuals" a lot.
    Connection vs. disconnection. Can you have both?
    How do you balance the social and the solitary?

    Feel like I'm looking for a practical spirituality
    and not finding it. I believe in immanence... but
    right now I'm not sure it believes in me.

    People are hard. Groups of people are harder.

    Am I crazy? Is it me? Is it you?
The kind of spirituality I value is one
in which you get great joy out of contributing
to life, not just sitting and meditating,
although meditation is certainly valuable.
But from the meditation, from the resulting
consciousness, I would like to see people
in action creating the world that they want
to live in.

-Marshall Rosenberg
netpositive: (bloodylane)
Have you heard of "conjugating adjectives" in English?

I'm thrifty; you're frugal; he's cheap.
I'm assertive; you're aggressive; she's pushy.


This postholder is possibly about declining nouns.

One person's rescue is another person's escape.
Someone's dream job may be someone else's nightmare.


Sometimes, you do the right thing -- and it doesn't work.
From a particular reference point, looking up may only mean
straight ahead, but it's still a change in point of view.

Trying to reframe this... but it's not easy.

Don't take it personally. Try giving it away instead.

Just another poor boy off to fight a rich man's war

I dreamed last night. Then I woke up and remembered it.

Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a pattern you can walk.
But first you have to find your feet. Then you have to move.
netpositive: (Default)
    I dreamed last night that I felt fine,
    but that some doctor was convinced I needed
    an immediate operation to remove something
    dangerous.

    But I could never get an answer from him, or
    any of the hospital staff what, exactly, was
    the problem.

    Despite going back into the dream -- twice! --
    to try and get an answer from them. Or anyone.

    Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious.
    And sometimes, just a left turn at Albuquerque.

    Still, I think maybe I know what it means.

    The answers lie in me and no one else.

    More later, I think. Cleaning, sorting, changing
    and throwing out are all short-term items on the
    long-term plan.
netpositive: (Default)
Poor little dreamer
Stand inside the door
You can't find the easy rhymes
Of times you had before--

-Heart, "Cry to Me"

Danced with the right people last night
at contra, even the ones I didn't know.
The ones I did? Thank you -- bless you.
    I dreamed last night I was the last
    passenger on a jet plane with 16 cabins
    which varied wildly in accommodation.

    Fourteen passengers were already on board.
    split evenly between friends and allies
    and so there were only two cabins left
    for me to choose from.

    One was the smallest, just a white closet.

    The other was the largest, with controls,
    monitors, and a VHS deck containing a tape
    labeled "Safety Procedures for This Flight".

    Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious.
    And sometimes, just a hard slap in the face.

The glass is empty and the wine
Is bitter on your tongue
People don't seen wild and fine
Like when you were young--


In other news, I forgot how warm snowboard socks are.
But how I hate cold and dark months ending in -ember?
That part, full well I remember.

But I also remembered to take my vitamins this morning.

Dancing encourages hyperventilation, increases the
production of adrenaline, and causes a sharp decrease in
levels of blood glucose. These physiological responses
stimulate the brain to release endorphins...

-Barbara Tedlock, _The Woman in the Shaman's Body_
netpositive: (Default)
Been feeling a lot more like myself lately.

A lot of me. And then some.

Kinda nice.

Meat and salt, and juice for me.

A pair of roller skates, and a brand new key.
Perhaps I have the universe. Or maybe it has me.
netpositive: (Default)
Focus, Castle. It's a crime scene.
-Kate Beckett
    ... a secret out, a secret in.

    Break in, break out,
    but not break up,
    not break down.

    The brakes are off.
    The drive is on.

    Not broken, just the breaks.

    A secret out, a secret in...
Could we please focus, people... focus.
-Nathan Ford
netpositive: (Default)
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

-Lyle Lovett
    When I was a child, I read Thor Heyerdahl.
    So I've been in sacred caves on Easter Island.

    When I was a child, I read Joy Adamson.
    So I've been to the savanna and run wild.

    When I was a child, I read J.R.R. Tolkien.
    So I've been to Middle Earth and met Ents.

    I'm not bad at traveling once I get going.
    But I never really understand it
    until I get there.

    If then.

    I want to go to the place where I want to be.

    You know where that is?

    I don't.
It is not down in any map; true places never are.
-Herman Melville
netpositive: (Default)
[Part of this was originally posted private on 9/30/2008.
Updated 12/1/2009 as closure for Black November 2009.]


The message for me in what you've said is that
ACTION is always better than inaction, a lesson that
for some reason I have had to relearn again and again.

It goes like this: You must take a step in the direction
that you think is right, because you will otherwise never
know what that step might reveal. Whether that step reveals
the error in your thinking, the missing enabler, the proof
you've sought, the beauty or ugliness you never imagined,
the nature of resistance, or nothing particularly meaningful,
it is worth the effort to pull back the curtain, because
it will expand your knowledge and guide you.

Linda from Deerfield
    Step, step, step.

    If your foot lands in mud, pull it up, shake it off.
    Go on.

    If your other foot lands in shit, pull it up, shake it off.
    Go on.
Take the first step in faith.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase,
just take the first step.

–Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
netpositive: (firehand)
... circumstances indicate that the path
to your destination twists and turns in a
bewildering way. Your insight, however,
can penetrate and make sense of confusion.

-definition, juxtaposition from Tarot.com
    Go to the bathroom first.
    Then drink deep from your mystical cup.
    Pry your ghost loose from its shell,
    and find a right space for your words.

    Point out the middle path, and
    reconcile the polarities. Bring
    creativity and flexibility to
    the way you go about your way
    in the world. Move slowly and
    deliberately if change is required.

    Don't be too proud to ask for someone's
    help. Sometimes you do get it.

    What kinds of negative messages,
    self-doubt or paranoid fantasies
    descend upon you from time to time?
    Don't let them undermine your ability
    to be who you are and to contribute.
    Examine them and give them each a name,
    and identify them as separate from you
    (imagining them as little demons can help).
    This will increase your dominion over them.

    Turn the page. Write the next line.
    Take my foot off the brake already!

    A path is traversed one step at a time.
    A navigator can help you find the way.
    Is it a lantern, or only an hourglass?

    Simon says: take a baby step, baby.
Why must we dream in metaphors?
Try to hold on to something we couldn't understand.

Seal
netpositive: (firehand)
We can talk all night, We can talk all day
We can play charades when there is nothing to say
You turn me on to the idea of growing old

The Features
    Assimilate your information.

    Do the thing you are meant to be doing.
    Yours. Not anyone else's -- not your mother's,
    your best friend's, or the President's.
    Your thing. Right now, and tomorrow too.

    Write first. Worry later. Or not at all.
For those of us who are too headstrong to learn from
human beings, lessons will duly arrive in the guise of
Situations, Dreams, and other Self-Generative Activities.

Antero Alli, in _Angel Tech_ (1st ed.)
    It's only the future.

    Don't forget to breathe.

    (And if you need to dream, try sleeping.)

    Thank you, Sondra Venable.
Do you remember
Standing on the shore,
Head in the clouds,
Your pockets filled with dreams
Bound for glory
On the seven seas of life,
But, the ocean is deeper than it seems

Baby, baby, baby, baby,
You'll find that you're the only one
Can sail your ship across the sky

Whitesnake
netpositive: (sato)
Irrational idea for today:
Get angry at yourself for all those things not done,
and just give up. Why bother? Who cares, really?

    Write down the facts.

    Down time. Dead time. Resentment. Resistance.
    Have not been as productive at work recently.
    Didn't write words three of the last five days.
    Forgot to use two coupons to save on books.
    Have done zero shopping for the holidays yet,
    and have no idea what to get anyone, either.
    Spent a week waiting on someone to call me back
    about something important, albeit not urgent.
    Skipped possible dancing opportunities twice.
    Can't focus on anything to look forward to.
    Connected with the divine all Wednesday night --
    but connected with nothing since then.

    Write down your subjective self-talk.

    "You'll never accomplish what you want to.
    You're going nowhere right now and that will
    never ever change. Everything before this was
    just a lie, to get your hopes up. You're not
    paying attention to anything or anyone important
    and you are unable to change your bad patterns.
    Look at your inconsistent control of your diet.
    Think of all the things you haven't done by now.
    You hate the 'holiday season'/this time of year,
    and you resist any encouragement or insistence
    from others to be happy, or participate in it;
    it is unnatural not to enjoy this, and you have
    no right to be/feel so different from others."

    Describe your emotional response.

    I feel like I'm not who or what I think I am,
    and that's frustrating after a too short period
    of feeling better and more "me" than usual. I feel
    like I must not really have the self-discipline
    or abilities I envision myself as having, and so
    I'm a terrible being - a waste of time and space.

    I also hate having my schedule/routine disrupted;
    and Thanksgiving through New Year's is a time
    every year when that happens to me.

    I also really hate being told by others that I
    "have to", "should" or "must" do certain things --
    even if I agree and believe in them, or not.

    And then I hate myself for not being thoughtful
    of others, and for not sharing their happiness.

    I have become so afraid to look forward to the
    future for fear of disappointment. I'm afraid
    to try to change things -- even broken ones --
    for fear of renewed, or different, failure.

    Then I'm mad at myself for not even living up to
    my own expectations - for not finding hope in
    things - for not going forward all the time.

    Dispute and change irrational self-talk.

    I don't normally regret for long things, esp
    minor ones, which I have not done once they are
    past. Also, I am usually good about discharging
    my obligations without undue resentment. I must
    be feeling a lot of extra performance pressure
    imposed on me by myself and perhaps (knowingly
    or otherwise) by others. Part of this may be my
    (mis)perception of others' expectations of me...

    I know this time of year is always very difficult
    for me, when it gets dark and cold and my routine
    is thrown off, and I don't feel like celebrating.

    I also know I am often afraid of change because
    I don't know what will happen afterwards --
    and I may not be in control of what does.

    This is all conflicting with my desire that
    *this year*, "things will be different":
    because I have things I really want to do
    and relationships that I want to maintain,
    or improve, despite my feeling lethargic and
    disconnected, and overwhelmed by pressure.

    Substitute alternative, rational self-talk.

    You've run into a whole bunch of roadblocks!
    Let's take them one at a time out of that wall.

    You do good work, and that will continue.
    However, you would like periodic feedback
    from others that you are helpful and useful.
    At present, you're not getting much of that.
    But you will have your annual review soon and
    that should tell you where you stand and what
    you can do to improve yourself or help others.

    You did write, two days out of five. Both days
    you did extra beyond your (self-imposed) goal.
    Two of those other days you did some research
    that you've recorded in your notes to support
    your upcoming work. Plus you should have some
    help with your research as you get organized
    and know what -- or who -- to ask for.

    More books? You have plenty to go through yet!
    There will be other chances -- and coupons --
    whenever you finally need more reference works.

    As for your unhappiness about holiday shopping,
    this is a manifestation of your fears about money,
    uncertainty, and simple lack of time, as well as
    frustration with insistent insanity in spite of
    both negative and positive reality checks. However,
    you generally shop for others via wish lists and
    gift cards. You also try to help others who need it,
    via charity donation requests or invisible acts of
    kindness. It all happens, at an appropriate level,
    in a way that works for both you and the recipients.

    You did collect needed contact and resources
    information, so that you can now proceed with
    settling something you've procrastinated about.
    You are taking steps to take care of yourself in
    smaller and larger ways; however, there will be
    moments when you fall down, for whatever reason.
    Blaming yourself never helps get you back up.

    You have celebrated, and will celebrate, with
    someone important to you; even if you do feel
    fear of the implicit acknowledgment that time
    passes, you can still be grateful for all the
    time that is, and all your presences in it.

    In addition, you are back in touch with people
    both close and far away from you, and you have
    another chance to let them know what they mean
    to you. You can do things you want to. It's ok
    to balance that with what others want you to do.

    Remember: a phone is simply a tool. Use it.

    Notice your thoughts and feelings,
    acknowledge them non-judgementally,
    and let them go.


    I feel these things. They may or may not be
    rational, but I do not discount that I feel.

    Refuting the irrational idea:

    Look back. It was not a lie; it is your path.
    Look down. Those are your feet, standing still.
    Look forward. There is your chance to take steps.
    Look up. Remember standing in a concrete courtyard
    a few nights back, all those lights shining upwards
    and one star looking down through reflected glory?

    You haven't left the universe, any more than it's
    left you. It finds you even in this. The universe
    has a weird sense of humor, you see, by making you
    go through ecstacy just to get to the laundry.

    Fear of failure is understandable, especially when
    you have been used to success. But the worst that
    can happen could still be for the best if it frees
    you from further fear of failure. So why not try?

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't,
I give myself reasons why I can.

-anonymous
    Tactics:

    Listen to any music that helps right now.
    Skip the rest until sumer is icumen in.

    If there's blockage in the way, you have always
    found my own unique way to get past it. Use your
    innate resistance, rather than feeling used by it.
    They say you can't, or you shouldn't? Say: "I can.
    I will. I must. And no, I won't let you stop me."
    Aikido your critics with their own negative energy.

    Continue to get rid of ten things a day
    to make room for the ten thousand things.
    Then you will have what matters most to you.

    Breathe.
    Breathe once just to go in and out.
    Breathe twice, to reestablish the pattern.
    Breathe threefold -- for those who were,
    for those who are, and for that which will be.
    Then keep on breathing, however you do it.

    Continue to celebrate even the smallest things.
    If you don't share another's joy at this time,
    don't disrespect it. Find it in your own terms.
    If only the fact that the year, and the wheel,
    will continue to turn -- that spring will come.

    Listen to others -- but find your own voice.

If you hear a voice within you say
'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint,
and that voice will be silenced.

-Vincent Van Gogh
netpositive: (firehand)
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life...

-Prince
    Know what you can stand.
    Work on what you have trouble standing.
    Avoid what you can't stand.
    If you can.

    Write it out. Write it down.

If u don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around u
At least u got friends--

    Some things to be grateful for today:
  • Sunshine
  • Blue sky
  • Hard boiled eggs
  • Radishes
  • Tea
  • Vitamins and minerals
  • Sleeping kitties
  • Petting sleeping kitties
  • Helping someone out virtually
  • Clouds
  • Rain
  • A bright yellow rain slicker
  • Backpack with everything in it
  • A body that (mostly) works
  • Quiet local coffee shop (w/electricity, w/out Internet)
  • Iced chai
  • Some work to do
  • An iPod with bright orange skin
  • Some work getting done
  • Sleeping kitties waking up
  • Waking kitties being petted
  • Things to look forward to

Are we gonna let de-elevator
Bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!

    Thank you, Chris Benoit.

    No, not so much for the past few days,
    though I have learned much about you,
    myself, and others during them. ::(
    But thank you for those many years that
    you *were* a good person to other people.

    What happened this past weekend should not
    take those good times away from anyone else.
    It just will make us all the sadder that they,
    and you, are gone for good, and so horribly.

    I don't know what happened to you, Wild Pegasus.
    Maybe no one ever really will know "the truth".
    But I can guess, I can imagine, and I even suspect
    I would understand at least some of it. Not condone;
    but there but for the grace of something, could go I.

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's cuz
We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do)
What's it all 4 (What's it all 4)
U better live now
Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
Oh, no, let's go--!
netpositive: (Default)
I'm trying to live a quiet, peaceful life
and stay out of trouble, and all it is, is
one thing after another.

Venus Ram[s]ey, Miss America 1944

(Thanks to technoshaman for the link.)
    I hope, I hope, I hope -- but
    I still don't know what to hope for.
    I just try to look forward. To tomorrow,
    or to this evening, or to this afternoon.
    Because I find if I don't look forward,
    I can't *go* forward.

    How do I reconcile that with being in this moment?

    Especially if it's a moment I don't want to be in.

    This is a great time to take another look
    at a person who tends to really annoy you.
    He or she has viewpoints that you have
    a hard time relating to -- but some of
    these opinions deserve your attention.
    Your disagreements about important issues
    may contain valuable lessons for you.
    If you can get past your emotional reactions,
    you might even find yourself changing your mind.
    This is all part of the process of learning
    how to think more objectively.

    -Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, May 1, 2007

    No, somehow, I don't think I'm going to become her.
    I'll stay my savage, secret selves, if you please,
    safely inside my soft shell made of ruby and crystal,
    the lost girl running in and out of time,
    the student with the deep-wrinkled forehead,
    the cat with the inconvenient soul.

    Look hard and you might see something.
    Try hard and you might actually do something.
    Or, you can just wait around for decay and death.
    Your choice. Not mine. Go on.
But the things that you see
ain't necessarily the things you can find...

Joe Jackson

Courage (4)

Nov. 4th, 2006 02:54 pm
netpositive: (firehand)
We gonna to do what they say can't be done
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there

Jerry Reed, "East Bound and Down"
    At 44, it's frustrating to feel like I'm on
    the bottom rung of a ladder. But then look at
    all the other ladders I climbed just to get here.

    Measure twice, cut once.

    I worry too much about what is possible, and
    not enough about what I want to (make) happen.

    Dream first, budget second.

    I keep trying to account for all my time. And
    I keep looking at how much others accomplish in
    the same period of time, and then I feel inferior.
It's sobering to realize, for example, that when
Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

-Tom Lehrer, age 37
    But I am not anyone else. I have my own priorities.
    I have my own needs, wants, desires, responsibilities.
    Sure, I may be a bit of an ant. But I'm a damn good ant.

    Plan first. Execute second. Adjust all along.

    I could have been dead 3 times over by age 23.
    Maybe I don't know the reason, maybe I never will,
    but I'm still here. As long as I am, I do what I can.
It takes a lot of time to learn something new,
so don't be impatient with yourself right now.
Each time you uncover a new aspect of your current challenge,
you will also uncover a new obstacle. This is disheartening,
but it's also very normal. Just keep going and keep learning!
It'll all start to come together soon. You're on your own schedule,
so don't compare your progress with someone else's progress.
Just stay focused on what you need to do.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, Nov. 3, 2006
netpositive: (firehand)
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you're scared.

-Eddie Rickenbacker
    I have spent a lot of energy not being angry.
    I walk, I breathe, I work, I read, I think.
    Or I spend a lot of time fighting my anger.
    I dance, I write, I play, I sigh, I sleep.
    I acknowledge my anger and I want to move on.
    Tired of wasting precious time on the stupid,
    the lame, the halt. Sick of the energy drain.
    The world is so slow, and I am so fast...
    I eat, I drink, I listen. I dream. I hope?

    I know I am a very lucky person. I don't mind
    being an example -- hopefully sometimes a good one --
    but please understand: I am a very lucky person.

    I also believe that one often makes one's own luck.
    That does not negate the previous statement at all.

    And yet sometimes, I wake up afraid. Very afraid.

    Patience, listening, trust. Most important?

    I believe in magic. I do. I believe that the world
    is numinous. Now, if I could just see that more often.

    Even if you're running late, if you want to go, go!
    Because you never know. You just never know.

    Ah, but don't you see: I *am* queen.


    Dear Tir-na Nog'th, aka Unconscious,

    I understand that you think Standard
    Nightmare #2 is so important to repeat
    that you ran it as a mini-series *and*
    a sequel for summer rerun time. I get it.
    I got it. I grok.

    Now could we change the channel for a bit?

    Forever yours in Amber,
    Conscious
Shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
shine a little love on my life
and let me see--

-ELO
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Shucks, folks, I'm speechless.
-Lion
    For those of you whom I haven't had
    much chance to talk to very recently,
    and even for many of those I have:

    As of Nov. 28, 2005, I enter a new world.

    I will be an independent contractor
    in my chosen field of user-centered
    analysis, design, and testing. I have
    a chance to operate as a consultant
    with Human Factors International, and
    I am (fearfully) looking forward to it.

    Thanks to those who listened so much
    when I could talk.
    Thanks to those who asked, "What's up,"
    even when I couldn't say.
    Thanks to those who offered good advice
    or provided bad examples.
    I have a whole lot to catch up on.
    Catch me soon.

    I'd rather be good than lucky -- but
    dreaming doesn't always have to hurt.
    The future is still under construction.
    All I can say is, I'll do my best.
How do you get the first olivepicker out of the bottle?

1. Unscrew the lid.
2. Show her some olives.
3. Wait for her to pick her way out.

-me
netpositive: (iconnerific)
By being receptive, we can avail ourselves
of the spiritual wealth available to us.

By being open, we can receive things
beyond what we ourselves might imagine.
—Deng Ming-Dao in Everyday Tao

To Practice This Thought:
Don't stifle new possibilities because of
your fear, doubt, or closed-mindedness.

from Soul Booster
    The first shoe has dropped.
    The other shoe is dropping --
    or is it just in freefall?

    Yes, I have a little change coming.

    Thank you, Eli Manning.
Even if He bars all the roads and passage-ways,
He will show you a hidden path unknown to all others.

-Rumi
netpositive: (firehand)
Just for today I will know my own spirit,
and take hold of all my own personal power.
Tomorrow will come. Today already is.
    Why do I not -
    Why do I knot -
    Y do I knot -
    How do I untie?

    Breathe, oh, breathe, oh, breathe.
    Breathe when you're asleep.
    Breathe when you're awake.
    Breathe as though your heart is breaking.
    Breathe as though your love is waking.
    Step up into the light and cast a shadow;
    step up into a shadow and remember the dark.
    Breathe with each step, and breathe between.

    I close my eyes and I can see so much, my
    dreams filled with details, but no faces.
    Yet I know you all, the quick and the dead.
    And you know me too -
    well, only if you care to.
I choose to move through difficulties,
disappointments and apparent defeat
by using them to move forward and
develop all my qualities. My final success
will be even greater than I imagined.

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netpositive

February 2013

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