netpositive: (firehand)
[No actual coworkers were harmed or upset in the making
of this dream. This is only partially about work, after all.]


I dreamed this morning that "they" killed one of my coworkers.
Officially he "fell", but several of us figured he was pushed
because we saw him wrestled away from the balcony before he
could speak. "They" instantly replaced him with someone new
who cheerfully spouted what "they" wanted to hear rather than
doing difficult work to fix or change things.

One coworker, who had been close friends with the victim,
fell completely apart, sobbing in my arms. I was trying to
help and hide her in case they might go after her too.

Then things shifted slightly... and I was parking further away
from work, in a rather hidden spot in an underground garage.
I noticed I was wearing a specific T-shirt [a meaningful but
uncomfortably constructed one that I haven't worn in years -
however, I saw it a week ago when I pulled out its sister shirt
for my first solo takeoff and landing]
and so on my way in
I started looking around for a more suitable shirt, but no one
had noticed I wasn't dressed right.

At least before I woke up.

Would the death of hope hurt less if it hadn't been given a voice?

At least my first impulse seems to have been to worry about someone else
in more trouble, rather than myself.

Would you have still said what you did if you knew what I was thinking?

One of the leftovers from my childhood is that I don't like surprises.

Do I change my shirt, or do I walk away?


Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th disappears right under your feet.
netpositive: (bluebells)
So in between the B/W Parkway and West Park Drive,
there's this moment in time and space:


Empty space in your head next day
Memories have come and they have gone
Open your eyes can't get back to sleep
Though it's the earliest crack of dawn
There's a nagging something
You can't quite put your finger on...

-Tracy McDonnell
    Do I feel better because I take the vitamins,
    or do I take the vitamins because I feel better?
    Or maybe the vitamins take me.
    Whatever. Just take the vitamins.

    Easy games can provide a sense of accomplishment.
    It may seem like a "false" sense because the game
    is not "real". But you, and your play, are as real as.

    Try asking for what you want. It's hard to hear nos,
    but at least you're speaking for yourself when you do.

    More honey than vinegar. But vinegar can bring the tart.

    Let's face the music -- and dance.

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together
to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather
teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
netpositive: (firehand)
Heretics of the world, take heart.
There is a place set aside for you
at the table of religion after all.
... for you, O heretics, faith and belief
alone are like painted cakes that cannot
satisfy the hunger and yearning you feel
in your belly and your heart and your soul.

Will Johnson's introduction to
_The Forbidden Poems of Rumi_

    Crescent moon,
    prod me in the back with your tines,
    push me firmly into the daytime,
    then welcome me into your curve
    when I'm done.

    Full moon,
    pour forth all your hoarded silver,
    let me drink your light to bursting
    and beam moonfaced to rival even
    the sun's gold.

    Crescent moon,
    hang me on your hook,
    high -- high -- high above earth, to where
    I can't tell the cities from stars.
    Remove me.

    New moon,
    hide me in your shadow,
    let me weep into your empty seas
    until you take all my tarnished tears.
    Return me.
Composed in tribute to
JoCo's "I'm Your Moon",
JJ's "Fugue 2/Song of Daedalus"
and the upcoming lunar eclipse.
But mostly because Artemis,
when rising from her pool,
longs for her wide wild world full of joy.


Sometimes, the music is all you get.
Try not to hate it for not being dancing...
or go figure out what the right dance would be, already.

-me
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Lion: All right. I'll go in there
for Dorothy - Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch -
guards or no guards - I'll tear 'em apart.
Ohhh! I may not come out alive but I'm going in there.
There's only one thing I want you fellas to do...
Tin Man and Scarecrow: What's that?
Lion: Talk me out of it.


Last weekend, while the mice were away:
text behind cut )
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man: Courage!
Lion: You can say that again!

Courage

Sep. 2nd, 2004 11:19 pm
netpositive: (iconnerific)
... I could show my prowess --
Be a lion not a mou-ess --
If I only had the noive.

-The Wizard of Oz
    Went out to K2[1] yesterday evening.
Dorothy: Your Majesty, If you were King, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?
Lion: Not nobody, not nohow!
    Went all by myself. Asked people to dance.
Tin Man: Not even a rhinocerous?
Lion: Imposserous!
    And got asked to dance. More than once.
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Lion: Why, I'd trash him from top to bottomamus!
    Even after they saw me dance with other people.
Dorothy: Supposin' you met an elephant?
Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophant!
    Sometimes even after they danced with me.
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Lion: I'd show him who was King of the Forest!
    Stayed until midnight. Had a good time.
    Know now I can go back there when time permits.
    Not the best follow there -- perhaps still "worst" --
    but yet not all that much worse, either. Go me!
If I were King of the Forest...
Not queen, not duke, not prince.
My regal robes of the forest...
Would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.


[1] For those not familiar with the DC swing dance scene the K2 Dance Studio (Rhode Island Ave., College Park MD) is THE Cool DC Lindy Hop Dance Venue on Wed. nights. The floor is unbelievable, weird little panels of what looks like a horribly bad fruitwood veneer, or faux wood pattern shelf paper smothered in polyurethane - but underfoot it's like wearing satin slippers on glass covered with butter. Slidy!
netpositive: (window)
Invoke often. Banish often.

Pictures behind cut... )

Before you go to sleep tonight, carve
a doorway in the darkness with your mind.
Be sure to visualize the approximate situation
you wish to encounter on the other side.
netpositive: (window)
Begin to consider what you can do
just this week, just today, just this hour.
How small do you need to make the time frame
in order to feel positive? Don't worry about
details; focus on just one baby step. What can
you accomplish in the next five minutes?

Move your body; narrow your focus; take action.
    Some things that happen in a weekend:

    Carry-out Cincinnati chili with sour cream.
    A glass of amaretto w/peach schnapps.
    Watching part of a favorite videotape.
    Get solid sleep. Emergency laundry time.
    See a brace of films by Orson Welles.
    Greeting some old friends in passing.
    Review new search engine documentation.
    Steam is rising off the Potomac River.
    Out dancing to a rare appearance by a
    traditional big band at Glen Echo -
    go through three shirts, two towels,
    lots of trips to the water fountain, and
    a life-saving bottle of berry Gatorade.
    Meet up late-night with an Oreo milkshake.
    Sun-dry sheets while walking to Courthouse
    for some iced chai. Continue with laundry.
    Plan for an hour of yard work (with water).
    Work on summary documents for presentation
    on the e-gov standards usability testing.
    Color hair. Get ready for this busy week of
    training + work + home + life. Pet cats.

    Let's take July one step at a time.
Fear comes with the territory.
Stop thinking that fear must vanish
before you can start a project. Fear
is part of life. You'll hear it when
you're perched on your growing edge.
Tilt your head to listen -- and then
press on. Demystify the fear by saying,
'There's the same old fear sitting on my shoulder.
I'll just go about my business.'

from _Stress Reduction for Busy People_
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Without an unobstructed route
Energy cannot flow.

-Deng Ming-Dao
    Sometimes one has to rest.
    Enjoy your sleep. Let your body go,
    let your mind wander,
    let your spirit soar.
    Recharge what has been drained from you.
    Recall the taste of your favorite juice.
    Dream a little dream of love.
You may feel like dwelling on
your limits or your fears. Don't do it.
A perfect prescription for a squandered,
unfulfilled life is to accommodate
self-defeating feelings while undercutting
your finest, most productive ones.

-Marsha Sinetar
netpositive: (Default)
Only put in a ten hour day at work today, and
have further writing and editing to do before
Monday. But I was determined to go dancing, as
a great band was visiting from San Francisco,
playing my absolutely favorite style of swing
music - the "jump blues" of Louie and Louis.

And I felt like I danced really well tonight.
Compliments from people I haven't danced with
for some months - a very good dancer seeking
me out for a second dance - an overall feeling
that my footwork was catching musical nuances -
and that my pleasure in dancing was contagious.
A good night, and something solid to build on.

Not yet sleepy... just going to relax a bit.

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netpositive: (Default)
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