netpositive: (Default)
I dreamed this morning that I was dodging fireballs
shaped like ghostly freight trains, in a basement
I know quite well.

We opened a casement window to escape. People got out,
but the piano was destroyed. I was in no danger, but.

Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a subconscious...
But these past few weeks, been entirely too literal.

How do you get the goose out of the bottle?

How do you get out?
netpositive: (sato)
I'd like to go to Italy
Just to eat the food
Just to drink the wine
Just to go

-Patty Larkin, "Italy"
    So, this post is not about Italy. It's about Japan.

    A friend recently commented that he didn't think of me
    as a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl. :) I was entertained
    because that's close what I think of as my "normal state",
    but this friend has generally seen me (1) in contexts where
    I should be wearing fancier clothes, or (2) when I'm cold
    and wearing sweater or sweatshirt -- which are often hiding
    a T-shirt.

    (1) involves everything from work to dancing, and I get as
    close as I can to social norms without sacrificing too much
    to fashion; (2) includes everything under, say, 65 degrees.

    But I have certain T-shirts that between physical comfort
    and emotional meaning, I come back to again and again. Some
    of them are so worn and tattered now that I only unfold and
    don them for "special occasions". Others hang in there -- or
    more precisely, don't hang because they often get yanked out
    of the clean laundry basket before folding even occurs.

    Two of them involve Japan in some way, which is why this post
    comes out in this particular way and this particular time.

    I went to Japan in Aug. 2007. Not to go to the Worldcon in
    Yokohama (just like I went to Los Angeles in 1996 not to go
    to Worldcon). As Patty Larkin would say, "Just to go."

    Just to be.

    I've lost my luggage in the Tokyo subway locker system;
    bought a CD from a band named Hanamizuki playing free on
    Minato-Mirai plaza; seen The Great Sasuke and Ultimo Dragon
    performing at Korakuen Hall; stood in the Ghibli Museum
    wearing my Princess Mononoke T-shirt; and climbed to a peak
    of Daisetsuzan, aka the "Roof of Hokkaido".

    And:

    I've used the Internet to discover the best "jingisukan"
    in Sapporo, and Lonely Planet to locate its two sublime
    ramen-noodle alleys; stopped over in Tomokomai because of
    a poster for an exhibition of matchbox art; experienced
    shinkansen and subways, ryokans and train sleeping cars,
    but did not try a capsule hotel; and discovered "umeshuu".

    And:

    I've chatted with train conductors, zookeepers, members of
    art museums, convenience store attendants, early morning
    sushi aficionados, temple attendants, and more: I, in my
    stumbling Japanese, them practicing English eagerly in turn.

    And:

    I've been to Sendai. I have a picture of the train station
    sign for Hachinohe because I loved its kanji. I've walked
    the streets of Aomori, provided crazy gaijin amusement for
    their police dept., and had to eat a "tako doonatsu" that
    my kosher-eating companion bought by mistake while he was
    still catching up to me on transliterating and translating.

    My language is rusty again, and my bottle of umeshuu is just
    about empty, but my expired rail pass is still in my backpack.
    For I do miss that alien self, adrift in a stranger's world.

    Clad in a T-shirt, and jeans.

    So, my Japan: never #1 on my list of places I'd want to live
    (that'd be a slightly smaller island known as "the Big Island"),
    but in the top 3. Because I never expect to "belong" anywhere,
    and I would even tell you I don't like to travel... just to be.

    Even now.

    So, send help if you can. Or at least a positive thought or two.

I'd like to go to Japan
So my passport would look used
Just to change my point of view
Just to go

-me, paraphrasing Patty

Donations:
Direct Relief International for the people and places
American Humane Association for injured/abandoned animals
netpositive: (bloodylane)
Have you heard of "conjugating adjectives" in English?

I'm thrifty; you're frugal; he's cheap.
I'm assertive; you're aggressive; she's pushy.


This postholder is possibly about declining nouns.

One person's rescue is another person's escape.
Someone's dream job may be someone else's nightmare.


Sometimes, you do the right thing -- and it doesn't work.
From a particular reference point, looking up may only mean
straight ahead, but it's still a change in point of view.

Trying to reframe this... but it's not easy.

Don't take it personally. Try giving it away instead.

Just another poor boy off to fight a rich man's war

I dreamed last night. Then I woke up and remembered it.

Ah, sometimes Tir'na Na Nog'th is a pattern you can walk.
But first you have to find your feet. Then you have to move.
netpositive: (bluebells)
So in between the B/W Parkway and West Park Drive,
there's this moment in time and space:


Empty space in your head next day
Memories have come and they have gone
Open your eyes can't get back to sleep
Though it's the earliest crack of dawn
There's a nagging something
You can't quite put your finger on...

-Tracy McDonnell
    Do I feel better because I take the vitamins,
    or do I take the vitamins because I feel better?
    Or maybe the vitamins take me.
    Whatever. Just take the vitamins.

    Easy games can provide a sense of accomplishment.
    It may seem like a "false" sense because the game
    is not "real". But you, and your play, are as real as.

    Try asking for what you want. It's hard to hear nos,
    but at least you're speaking for yourself when you do.

    More honey than vinegar. But vinegar can bring the tart.

    Let's face the music -- and dance.

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together
to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather
teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
netpositive: (firehand)
[Part of this was originally posted private on July 21, 2009.
Updated 12/2/2009 to honor helping hands and making mistakes.]


Bob Uecker, who does play-by-play for the Milwaukee Brewers,
said something the other day that I'm still thinking about.
He was talking about power hitters, and what makes a really
excellent one, and what he said was, "They hit mistakes really hard."
The key here is, he's not talking about the PITCHER's mistakes,
because of course they slug the bejesus out of those. He's talking about
THEIR mistakes. Even when they get ahead of the ball and they're not
going to be able to pull it, they still hit it with everything they've got.
And sometimes, that ball goes out of the park just the same as if
they'd done what they wanted.

-truepenny, in a comment on a post about a post about a post about writing
    Tao is about ten thousand things,
    and the one.

    Try to deal with ten items a day. Move them around,
    use them up, throw them out, whatever works.

    Whenever eating anything with tomato sauce, remember to
    wear a black shirt and also have the laundry hamper handy.

    There must be at least a hundred ways to game a system.
    When in doubt, consider that anything can be solved
    given enough time or willingness to break things.
    Which one would you choose?

    That's a minimum of ten items, by the way.
    You can always go to eleven if you want to.

    Do things you enjoy.
    Do things you can.
    Do things.

    A picture can be worth a thousand words. Though sometimes
    one word is "Aww..." and it just gets repeated a thousand times.

    Thanks Bill, Berry, Cait, cats, and Wolfie.
If we do not fear to commit mistakes, if we take the omens
as a warning, as a help to cross that particular day, then
we start to get deeper and deeper into the soul of the world.

-Paulo Coehlo

Courage (6)

Aug. 1st, 2008 10:10 am
netpositive: (firehand)
So, I attended a ceremony last night.

It was the first event of its kind where
I honestly felt or perceived some sort of
"difference" during the experience.

During the meditation, we were encouraged to
encounter a golden man in a field of grain,
and there to receive a message and a gift.

And then my brain instantly said,
"But it's not a man. It's a deer."

I'm still deciphering the full message but
it involves paths and validation. There's
a lot of difference between the following:

"You are on the right path now."
"You are on the right path."
"You are on the path."
and
"You are the path."

My gift, though, was clear and three-fold.

When the deer fell over, shot through
with a silver arrow for the renewal, first
there was a hide, laid out flat, minus head.

The hide then disappeared, to reveal a
still-beating heart, garish red and blue in
its animation, invisibly connected in mid-air.

Before I could pick it up, the heart also
disappeared, and there beneath it rested a
fragment of antler, which was mine to keep.

The antler?
Grows, branches, falls off, and regenerates.
Changes composition during annual cycle.
Differs even between base and tip.
Is used as part of fighting by males, but
caribou and reindeer females also have them.
Represents the essence of deer in our minds.


Thank you for all my gifts, seen and unseen.
netpositive: (bluebells)
The best lesson you learn today will not be found
in the same old place. You are going to have to move
as far outside your comfort zone as you can stand to go
in order to get the nutritious input that your brain is
hungry for. Experimentation is the key to keeping yourself
sharp right now, so branch out and try out a few new tricks
you have been toying with. Through trial and error,
you will eventually perfect your technique and establish
a whole new best practice.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, 10/24/2007

    Lift one foot. Doesn't even have to go forward.
    Maybe lifting is all you can manage at first.


    I've been wanting out of these rat holes I'm dug into.

    If you don't have a shovel, use your claws.

    I've been waiting on people and places and things.

    Maybe they should be waiting on you instead.

    I judge myself not by what I am, but by what I do.

    That's what makes your not being busy, a real problem.

Someone who's been at the edge of your radar
for a very long time will suddenly move to the
center of your field of vision today. They want
your attention, and they want to inspire you.
If you give them a chance to make their case,
they just might. They are ready to prove to you
that what they have to offer isn't a correction --
it's a suggestion. Getting involved in a new venture
could give you the energy (and ego) boost you have been
looking for, so say 'yes' to a proposal.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, 11/21/2007

    Do imaginary characters count?

    We're just as real as everyone else.

    I started this post a month ago.
    It took a whole week just to go forward.
    Two more weeks to struggle, both inside and out.
    In the end, it took them a week to come back.
    A week. A whole week. Only a week.

    You're good as you are and you know it.
    Sure, support from others sure would be nice.
    Support from yourself, though, is essential.


    Yes, I am competitive -- even in some rather stupid ways.

    Get busy and stay busy a while, girl.
    You've still got a lot on your plate and
    you know there's always more struggle ahead.
    But don't forget to breathe, and to dream,
    and make more time for the rest of us.


    Thanks for the strong support, Tirna na Nog'th.
    Keep those words and images coming.
    I don't want to stop.

Courage (4)

Nov. 4th, 2006 02:54 pm
netpositive: (firehand)
We gonna to do what they say can't be done
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there

Jerry Reed, "East Bound and Down"
    At 44, it's frustrating to feel like I'm on
    the bottom rung of a ladder. But then look at
    all the other ladders I climbed just to get here.

    Measure twice, cut once.

    I worry too much about what is possible, and
    not enough about what I want to (make) happen.

    Dream first, budget second.

    I keep trying to account for all my time. And
    I keep looking at how much others accomplish in
    the same period of time, and then I feel inferior.
It's sobering to realize, for example, that when
Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

-Tom Lehrer, age 37
    But I am not anyone else. I have my own priorities.
    I have my own needs, wants, desires, responsibilities.
    Sure, I may be a bit of an ant. But I'm a damn good ant.

    Plan first. Execute second. Adjust all along.

    I could have been dead 3 times over by age 23.
    Maybe I don't know the reason, maybe I never will,
    but I'm still here. As long as I am, I do what I can.
It takes a lot of time to learn something new,
so don't be impatient with yourself right now.
Each time you uncover a new aspect of your current challenge,
you will also uncover a new obstacle. This is disheartening,
but it's also very normal. Just keep going and keep learning!
It'll all start to come together soon. You're on your own schedule,
so don't compare your progress with someone else's progress.
Just stay focused on what you need to do.

Yahoo! horoscope for Leo, Nov. 3, 2006
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Shucks, folks, I'm speechless.
-Lion
    For those of you whom I haven't had
    much chance to talk to very recently,
    and even for many of those I have:

    As of Nov. 28, 2005, I enter a new world.

    I will be an independent contractor
    in my chosen field of user-centered
    analysis, design, and testing. I have
    a chance to operate as a consultant
    with Human Factors International, and
    I am (fearfully) looking forward to it.

    Thanks to those who listened so much
    when I could talk.
    Thanks to those who asked, "What's up,"
    even when I couldn't say.
    Thanks to those who offered good advice
    or provided bad examples.
    I have a whole lot to catch up on.
    Catch me soon.

    I'd rather be good than lucky -- but
    dreaming doesn't always have to hurt.
    The future is still under construction.
    All I can say is, I'll do my best.
How do you get the first olivepicker out of the bottle?

1. Unscrew the lid.
2. Show her some olives.
3. Wait for her to pick her way out.

-me
netpositive: (iconnerific)
Lion: All right. I'll go in there
for Dorothy - Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch -
guards or no guards - I'll tear 'em apart.
Ohhh! I may not come out alive but I'm going in there.
There's only one thing I want you fellas to do...
Tin Man and Scarecrow: What's that?
Lion: Talk me out of it.


Last weekend, while the mice were away:
text behind cut )
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man: Courage!
Lion: You can say that again!

Courage

Sep. 2nd, 2004 11:19 pm
netpositive: (iconnerific)
... I could show my prowess --
Be a lion not a mou-ess --
If I only had the noive.

-The Wizard of Oz
    Went out to K2[1] yesterday evening.
Dorothy: Your Majesty, If you were King, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?
Lion: Not nobody, not nohow!
    Went all by myself. Asked people to dance.
Tin Man: Not even a rhinocerous?
Lion: Imposserous!
    And got asked to dance. More than once.
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Lion: Why, I'd trash him from top to bottomamus!
    Even after they saw me dance with other people.
Dorothy: Supposin' you met an elephant?
Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophant!
    Sometimes even after they danced with me.
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Lion: I'd show him who was King of the Forest!
    Stayed until midnight. Had a good time.
    Know now I can go back there when time permits.
    Not the best follow there -- perhaps still "worst" --
    but yet not all that much worse, either. Go me!
If I were King of the Forest...
Not queen, not duke, not prince.
My regal robes of the forest...
Would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.


[1] For those not familiar with the DC swing dance scene the K2 Dance Studio (Rhode Island Ave., College Park MD) is THE Cool DC Lindy Hop Dance Venue on Wed. nights. The floor is unbelievable, weird little panels of what looks like a horribly bad fruitwood veneer, or faux wood pattern shelf paper smothered in polyurethane - but underfoot it's like wearing satin slippers on glass covered with butter. Slidy!
netpositive: (Default)
I am the producer of my happiness.

I give myself permission to celebrate my wholeness.
    I seldom make New Year's resolutions.
    I more tend to feel that there's no time
    like the present for changing what is.

    Or, if it's not a good time to change now,
    at least one can start making preparations for
    change. Dream -- plan -- take tiny baby steps
    if you can. Devote some energy each day to
    building for the future. Prepare, so that
    when the moment comes, you will know it and
    go with it.

    And find joy in yourself, and you will find joy in others.
In my relationships, I ask for
whatever I want from my mate.

I am not afraid to ask for help
in turning my dreams into reality.

affirmations from iVillage's Goddess Power

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